Sunday, February 26, 2012

Take Away The Faces On The Trees...

...The pixie dust, the singing frogs....

There's a cute rapid-shipper commercial that Tam both loves and fears. It starts with the happy enchanted forest and then rubs out all the magic, item-by-item. At the very end, there's just one happy, overlooked singing frog lalala-ing along next to the delivery driver, who notices it, says "Ooops!" and it pops out of existence.

Me, I like magical forests but this one is just too silly; I got all Wile E. Coyote and suggested he should've taken his clipboard to it. This made Tam exclaim, "Nooooo!!!"

I can't help it; I keep coming up with ways for the driver to finish off the last singing frog:

--He throws it out the side window, it hits the picture window of a house with a splat! and slides down to the ledge in sad heap.

--He produces a slingshot, grabs up the frog, and fires it into the closed passenger window; our last clear sight of the frog is an extreme close-up of its horrified little face, right before impact.

--He grabs a sawed-off double barreled shotgun from under the dash,* pops one of the shells out, stuffs the frog in, shoves the shell back in after him, flips it closed and fires it, one-handed, out his window. We hear "La-la-yiiiiiiike!" trailing off into the distance.

--He reaches over his shoulder and comes up with one of those folded-flat boxes, pops it open, picks up the frog, drops it in and closes the box as it continues to sing, now somewhat muffled; it ends with him addressing the box to someone named "Walt" in Orlando, Florida...

--He pops it his mouth, chews, swallows, looks at the camera with a smile and says, "Ooops."
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* This is totally against Giant Cosmodemonic Delivery Co. rules, you know.

13 comments:

  1. I keep looking for Rodents-of-unusual-size in the ad.

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  2. If the frog wasn't singing "Hello My Baby', he deserved to die.

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  3. I do believe I like your versions better than what I saw over there...

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  4. Tradition dictates that the proper implement for dispatching a frog is a blender.

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  5. Since FedEx surplussed the guy, maybe he can check in with the Budweiser frogs and see what kind of gigs they've been getting.

    (... wiping down windshields with their tongues, part-timing in a whack-a-mole arcade, ...)

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  6. So, Roberta, just take a little drink of water, sit down and get comfortable, and let's talk about what the bad frog did to you...

    Mike James

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  7. I wish I could 'figger out how to get a cartoon into comments. Do an image search for the phrase 'that's not funny thats sick cartoon'. Look for the frog in the restaurant. Shows up 1st in line when I apply google-fu.

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  8. ...It may be a poor reflection on me that I know exactly the cartoon to which you refer....

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  9. So, you wearing knee pads over there at Casa Roberta?

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  10. In Shrek, didn't they blow up a frog into a balloon?

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  11. J -- What, armed and jumpy isn't armor enough?

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  12. Fer cryin' out loud...it's a SINGING FROG.

    You're SUPPOSED to put it underneath the cornerstone of a new building!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Egads, Blackwing was right.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRnX4quv5W4

    ReplyDelete

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