Thursday, June 10, 2010

Conan The Objectivist

Interlocutor
"What, O finest of all men, is best in life? Is it not a sunny day, a following wind and a heady, honest profit?"

Conan The Objectivist
"Nay, to outwit your enemies, to see them fall at your feet -- to purchase their horses and goods at low, low prices, hear the lamentation of their women and to deliver a six-hour speech, exposing the shortcomings of their philosophy and worldview and establishing a sane and logical framework in its place. That is best."

Soon to be a major motion picture!

(Admit it -- you'd watch).

Update: I'm thinking seriously about doing an entire short story in this vein. Interested? Let me know.
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15 comments:

  1. DrangJune 10, 2010 at 9:47 AM

    I'd turn it on...but I'd be surfing the 'net during the (all oto frequent, it sounds like) boring parts...

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  2. AnonymousJune 10, 2010 at 11:00 AM

    In the fight among the rocks Arnie and the wizard would be fighting like demons while Ayn Rand sat on a couch amongst the rocks, smoking and bitching about the fighting.

    "Look, Ayn, I know A is A but here it stands for arrow, so get your ass to cover."

    Shootin' Buddy

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  3. Ed RasimusJune 10, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    And then to escape the threats by retreating to the valley of the Great Galt. Python could do it in a brilliant collaboration with Mel Brooks and using a CGI recreation of Madeleine Kahn as Rand.

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  4. KenJune 10, 2010 at 12:32 PM

    The Riddle of Gold would run seventy-eight pages.

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  5. JoelJune 10, 2010 at 3:07 PM

    Y'all better watch it. The Obbies have no sense of humor whatsoever. And ninjas.

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  6. KenJune 10, 2010 at 7:24 PM

    Whatchoo talkin' bout, Joel? Look, it says so, right here:

    "Howard Roark laughed."

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  7. JoelJune 10, 2010 at 9:30 PM

    No, no. Clearly you are not of the body. Howard Roark (Howie, as we used to call him back in our Manhattan Salon - though never in HER presence, of course) was not a true archetype. He was for decades polluted, held down, almost corrupted by the system of the looters, the moochers, the aristocracy of pull. It was only near the conclusion, in the presence of The Galt, that he learned real purity, that A is A, the ascendancy of Aristotle and Ms. Rand, and the epistemology of Other Big Words.

    So you see it is possible for him to have been so un-selfaware of his innate purity as a Producer, that he may have briefly so forgotten himself as to laugh.

    But I'm certain that it was a ruthless, unsparing, purposeful laugh.

    I hope this has cleared up your misunderstandings. The ninjas should be there by now, and they're so gonna rip out your...

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  8. KenJune 10, 2010 at 10:10 PM

    Oh, yeah? Who do these ninjas think they are, Candlejack? Sounds utterly imbeci

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  9. TamJune 10, 2010 at 11:10 PM

    "...and the epistemology of Other Big Words."

    And that's the point I blew snot out my nose, thankyewverymuch. :D

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  10. MontieJune 11, 2010 at 3:51 AM

    What Tam said, except I had, unfortunately, just taken a gulp of Coke Zero which accompanied said snot...Thanks Joel...Sniff.

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  11. JosephJune 11, 2010 at 6:30 AM

    Sounds kind of like the dude running Venezuela...esp. the six hour speech part.

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  12. Tango JulietJune 11, 2010 at 7:32 AM

    "Atlas Shrugged" is an on again/off again project. So rumor hast it anyway.

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  13. Roberta XJune 11, 2010 at 7:39 AM

    Joseph-without-a-hyperlink: Yes but no. Almost exactly not, in some ways. Most ways.

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  14. JosephJune 12, 2010 at 5:54 AM

    Roberta..LOL. I was just instantly reminded of Hugo Chavez.

    WV: Fluto. A planet populated by flautists.

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  15. Pop N FreshJune 12, 2010 at 6:42 PM

    after this it will be "Red Ink Sonya"

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