So, I'm at the computer, enjoying a nice breakfast of corned beef hash with a chives-and-sharp-Provolone omelet (really good, especially together), chasing Tam's cat, Random Numbers, off the desk about once every two minutes, when, all of a sudden, thump! Huck the giant tomcat appears on the desk and moves rapidly to a place of refuge behind the monitor, over which he ponders my plate and the rapidly-diminishing comestibles upon it--
--Just as Rannie leaps up and says A Very Bad Word, turning so she can A) Keep an eye on The Boy and B) Stay within grab-and-go range of my plate. But it's a cat standoff; she doesn't dare try for a stolen snack because she'll have to turn her back on Huck to go for it.
Across the room, Tam turns to see what her cat is cussing about. So I ask, "Hey, will you come sit on my desk, too? Might as well go for a clean sweep!"
The only thing better (worse) is the Smallest Room, about walk-in closet size, if that -- one of us in the shower, one us at the mirror, Huck hiding between the shower curtains waiting to attack and Rannie eeling about underfoot. I'm starting to get the least inkling of how a submariner feels.
To complete the impression, go steal a hamper full of dirty gym socks from your local high school, and then dump a few gallons of diesel in the corner of each room.
ReplyDeleteThe one time I tried to bring my wife(then fiance) on the boat to show her where I work, it was the smell that initially shocked her much worse than the size...
I wish the guys I was on the boat with cleaned themselves as well as a cat.
If they could clean themselves like a cat, who'd run the sub? ;)
ReplyDeleteHa! I've been pushing felines off my laptop all morning!
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the small spaces thing. 2 adults, a teenager, 3 felines, and a confused canine all live in 1100 square feet.
No, to your bathroom scene you need to add a person parked on the toilet, the smells as commented on by Greg and at least two or three people out in the hall waiting their turn. Extra credit points for semi-rhythmic tiltings about all axises.
ReplyDeleteTWO People and some Cats for ONE Shower? Lucky You! My boats had this 85 man Berthing Space ('60s era Boomers) and about Four Shower Heads for all of us, not counting the Sinks and the Crappers.
ReplyDeleteAnd the Fast Attack Guys thought we were living in Cadillacs with all the Room we had!
If you ever get the Chance to visit any Submarine that's a Museum and get to climb aboard, like the U.S.S. Cod up here in Cleveland, two suggestions: Wear Sneakers and/or Boots, because Heels tend to catch on stuff, and wear Pants. You will be Climbing up and down Ladders, and some of the Tour Guys....
Looooogzhury!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a Boy Scout in the late '60s we went on a field trip to the New Groten sub base. We toured a fast attack sub. What impressed us most was how small and cramped it was. A bunch of 12 year olds thought it was small and cramped.
ReplyDeleteNow thanks to Tam I have an image of dolphin badged crew all giving themselves tongue bathes.
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