Went out on the front porch last nice to check the mail and noticed toadstools in the yard, courtesy of our recent rain; walked out for a closer look and when I turned to walk back, realized something was missing.
I have had a little gnome in a Rocketeer-style jetpack on the porch for several months. Not any more. Either he finally got that thing running, or Persons Unknown have absconded with him!
How low -- and bold -- does someone have to be to steal a plastic garden gnome ($40 if you're down with Amazon Prime) from a well-lit front porch, a porch frequently inhabited by the well-armed Tam? --And where in creation does one pawn such a thing?
Tam thinks he was nicked while she was in Knoxville. I think his departure is more recent; either way, it's not a good sign for the neighborhood.
If he was stolen while Tam was in Knoxville, it must have been because he was gnome alone . . .
ReplyDeleteI dunno about bad for the neighborhood. I'm thinking "kids will be kids".
ReplyDelete'Cos like you say, where would you pawn it? :)
I dunno about bad for the neighborhood. I'm thinking "kids will be kids".
ReplyDelete'Cos like you say, where would you pawn it? :)
Well, you got a Garand in the house, doncha?
ReplyDelete"Get off my lawn."
Srsly, I don't remember a gnome.
Maybe someone is a foreign film fan
ReplyDelete"Amélie"
Maybe you will get some pictures of your gnome from far away places...
> it's not a good sign for the neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteYes, when the garden gnomes start leaving, things are going downhill fast...
DID YOU ASK YOUR WATCH CATS WHAT HAPPENED?
ReplyDeleteBeen any UFO sightings around the circle lately?
ReplyDeleteTraveling Gnome Prank?
ReplyDeleteJust a Stalker, wanting something to drool over?
ReplyDeleteOr someone from the Vast Wing Leftist Conspiracy sending a "Message?"
Either way, you might get the chance to do some Ballistic Testing soon.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was a recovery mission...
ReplyDeleteNo Gnome Left Behind
Gnome Relocation Services is a noble profession. Look in the yards of nearby houses of worship....
ReplyDeleteThe little doober saw his chance, once Tam left, to go on a walkabout. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHeh. If it was kids or Sumdood, may I suggest replacing the gnome, and placing him on top of a pressure switch connected to a) a couple of M-80 firecrackers nearbym or b) a sound chip that plays "GET OF MY FRICKEN LAWN" at high volume from the porch (bonus points for using Clint Eastwood'd voice) or c) a 150dB siren. I WAS going to suggest a Claymore, but thought that might be a bit too messy.
ReplyDeleteI saw your blog from a friend of mine posting it on her blog and i wanted to share with you that i saw a video the other day on the news in which someone decapitated the head of a virgin mary statue one night in this woman's yard, then came back a couple of nights later and left a gnome in it's place. you may want to check and see if it's yours.
ReplyDeleteI'll observe the Intertubz. If we start seeing pictures of a Rocketeer-equiped gnome in exotic locales. we'll have our answer.
ReplyDeletea "little gnome in a Rocketeer-style jetpack"?!?! I'll bet somebody thought that was just too cool to pass up and grabbed it because, I mean, they don't sell 'em anywheres local.
ReplyDeleteI'm betting one of the local stoner kids probably has a "new" Rocketeer Gnome shaped bong by now.It seemed to happen to about half the manger scene baby Jesui in my neighborhood back in the day.
ReplyDeleteIt's so obvious.
ReplyDeleteEarl Harbinger needed a hand with something.
Man, tall people is stupid!
There is probably a female gnome in heat in your neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteHe'll be back in a few days.
Gerry
Aw, he's probably out exploring the Midwest, walking every highway, playing his guitar and singing "Don't Fence Me In."
ReplyDelete(You thought I was going to say "Gnome on the Range," didn't you.)
Either that, or somebody filched him. It's sad to think that some people can stoop so low.
Obviously your Rocketeer needed cover. There’s a guy…
ReplyDeletehttp://www.etsy.com/shop/thorssoli
I think some gnomeboy from a couple neighborhoods south of you snagged him.
ReplyDeleteNothing like a jetpack equipped yard ornament to give you street cred.
So the view from the porch is less one gnome now...
ReplyDelete