Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Advice For Those Who Would Ply Me With Cookies

    Not all Fudge Stripes are created equal.
     If Ghu had intended for us to eat tiny little miniature cookies, he would have made us tiny little miniature people.*  "Cookie" indicates a certain size range, generally between "old-style silver dollar" and "dessert plate."  Please make a note of it.
_______________________________
* And I do not mean ordinary little people size.   Oh, hells no, these mutants were made for some critter about 1.5 Barbies tall.  Possibly the sneaky-sized Sasquatches of Saskatchewan, but they aren't h. sap. and can rarely scare up the price of store-bought cookies.  Plus, Immigration won't let 'em into the States 'cos they haven't any paperwork.
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17 comments:

  1. Dave HJuly 31, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    Lemme guess. The cookies on the left are from a 100 calorie pack?

    Those aren't cookies. Those are ice cream topping.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dave HJuly 31, 2013 at 5:44 PM

    File this under "I can see the wires":

    1) wv: TxAudio. Might be a random sequence of letters in some people's language, but not mine.

    2) verification number: Not entered, but comment was accepted anyway. I'll bet the numbers are really a secret NSA program to get us to transcribe addresses from surveillance videos.

    If you can see this comment, I didn't enter the number again this time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Roberta XJuly 31, 2013 at 6:52 PM

    It's not a secret program,you're reading street addresses for Google Maps. And they could use the help.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Fuzzy CurmudgeonJuly 31, 2013 at 8:49 PM

    Oh, I dunno. If forced, I'd eat the container of mini cookies with as much aplomb as the container of normal-human-sized cookies.

    But that's me...say, did someone say COOKIES????

    ReplyDelete
  5. BGMillerJuly 31, 2013 at 9:56 PM

    Just posting to test Dave H's claim that you can post while ignoring the spambot filter.

    BGM

    ETA: First attempt with no letter jumble and no number failed. Proceeding to letters but no numbers.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BGMillerJuly 31, 2013 at 9:58 PM

    Update:
    Alphabet soup but no numbers succeeded.

    Now attempting numbers with no alphabet soup.

    BGM

    ETA: Numbers only failed. Interesting.

    Thank you Roberta for allowing the electrons for this little exploration.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Roberta XJuly 31, 2013 at 10:42 PM

    The numbers are optional; you're workin' for the Big G when you enter them.

    Question: Would you rather Google Maps got street numbers right, or wrong? Mind you, I don't urge you to any course of action, I'm just curious. (Got one the other day I could not make heads nor tails of. Do they just look for most-popular reading?)

    ReplyDelete
  8. BGMillerJuly 31, 2013 at 11:22 PM

    Personally I intend to keep giving them numbers.

    My exploration was more a bout of curiosity at something I hadn't pondered before. Kind of like finding a light switch in a closet you hadn't noticed before and flipping it on and off until the neighbor comes over and asks why your attic is sending an SOS.

    BGM

    ReplyDelete
  9. BGMillerJuly 31, 2013 at 11:24 PM

    Wait a second....

    One more flip of the switch...

    Alphabet soup with WRONG NUMBERS!!!!

    Bwahahahahaha.....

    WV is ogreepi 9

    I will enter ogreepi 8

    Just to see....

    BGM

    ReplyDelete
  10. BGMillerJuly 31, 2013 at 11:24 PM

    Accepted.

    Hmmmmm......

    It would seem Sarah Connor is safe for now.


    BGM

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dave HAugust 1, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    Roberta: If G Maps is going to have numbers, they need to be right. But I'd be just as happy (maybe a little bit happier) if they didn't include street numbers at all. I'm not pleased with the thought of some pseudo-random stranger looking up my address and seeing my mess of a yard on Street View.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousAugust 1, 2013 at 11:28 AM

    Personally, for crunchy-type cookies, I prefer the bite-sized ones because they don't make even the slightest bit of mess (no crumbs). Just pop'em down the hatch :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. rickn8orAugust 1, 2013 at 12:46 PM

    Your cookie preference is duly noted.

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownAugust 1, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    I disagree, those without papers are waved through. Those of us who are "papered" are stopped, searched, scanned, delayed, detained, questioned, probed, and hurramphed at. of course your mileage may vary.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Roberta XAugust 1, 2013 at 1:36 PM

    Unknkown: Oh, yeah? How many sneaky-sized Saskatchewani Sasquatches have you seen lately around official border crossings?

    Anon 11:28: Ah, smallmouthed, aren't'cha? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jake (formerly Riposte3)August 1, 2013 at 4:03 PM

    Meh, the bite-sized ones do have their place. Somewhere.

    Also, I suspect they're really made for the Nac Mac Feegle. Feegles don't need the money to buy them, because they just steal them. And if they didn't make Feegle-sized cookies, they'd just steal the real ones, and then where would we be?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Roberta XAugust 1, 2013 at 6:18 PM

    Half-way to Ruination an' without a tun of ale?

    ReplyDelete

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