Spent time with my sister this morning, sorting through Mom's jewelry: earrings and necklace for her, things for the older granddaughters and oldest great-granddaughter, costume jewelry for the younger great-greats, some interesting coin collections for the great-grandsons. Sister's got a lot of the family art (fewer bookshelves, though not for lack of reading!), which was nice to see again. We never got around to going through photos, with breaks for recollections and tears.
Oh, this isn't easy.
No, it isn't easy at all. You take a breath and the pain is right there again...
ReplyDeleteOuch.
It hurts.
Roberta,
ReplyDeleteHere is yet another little piece of advice about grief. Right now, your Mom's death is right there "in front" or "on top of" every. waking. moment. Oh, you can function, but it just. never. goes. away. It is the last thing you are conscious of when you drift off to sleep, and it is right there waiting for you when you awake.
One of these mornings, who knows when, you will awake and be getting coffee or something before your realize it wasn't the first thought in your head. For some people, when this happens, they feel guilty that they are forgetting. You aren't forgetting. You are healing. You will never forget.
Kindest regards,
DTB
When my Dad passed away suddenly in 1997, time for a few weeks stood nearly still. A 24 day seemed as if it lasted two or three days. So many thoughts, just flying about in and and out. Some sad, some happy - it was as if my brain's Task Manager was re-stacking data from here to there.
ReplyDeleteAs Mr. Berry said above, it takes time but you do forget the sting and the good memories that make you smile come more often. You don't have to tackle everything at once. Take time to sit down and rest, then pick yourself up and keep on keeping on.
If it were easy, then you wouldn't miss her as much. I know that sometimes life seems as if things suffocate us, when they hit us hard like this. When all we want to do is wrap ourselves up in a blanket and crawl into our bed and hide from the world, and from responsibility. I am just glad for you that you have your sister to share your grief with, and to share some of the happy memories as well. Thank you for sharing with us, also, since some of us are also still grieving for loss, or sorrow, and it helps sometimes to be able to know that others pass these same steps. It can be hard, but it is worth it.
ReplyDelete