The further and continuing adventures of the girl who sat in the back of your homeroom, reading and daydreaming.
Sunday, May 13, 2018
Mother's Day
The first one on which I have no mother to call. My sister and I will probably visit the cemetery today. Kind of morbid, but where else do we have to go?
Pardon me if once again a stranger offers his condolences on your loss.
My mother (now gone), sister, niece and great-aunt used to go out together each Memorial Day to the local cemetery where many members of our family were interred. There are simple stone markers set flush with the ground. We would spend time clearing the last year's growth of grass from around the edges, while talking about the good memories that accompanied the dead. There is always a running joke that my grandmother's grave never had any growth on it since she wouldn't allow it (you had to know her to understand it fully; that little immigrant woman had a will of steel).
They do it on Memorial Day rather than an anniversary of deaths, since it seemed fitting to remember them all rather than on the disparate days. For your Mom Mother's Day seems entirely appropriate.
My sister and niece still carry on that little tradition, and it helps keep the memories of our lost ones alive (which is all most of us can hope for).
I hope that you have good weather for it, and remember your Mom with fond memories of the good times you've had. If some tears fall while you're tending to things that happens to us, too. Eventually it becomes a happy thing rather than a sad one; my Mom passed too recently for that to be true for me yet.
Best wishes for happy remembrances on your Mother's Day.
Today, do exactly as you planned. Perhaps for next year you could give a kind word, or a kind deed, to a mother who has lost her children. I was surprised at how far I had moved along the road of healing in the year after my mother's death.
They never really leave us. My Mom has been gone for quite a few years but I still hear something funny and think I should call her; only to remember where she is. Remember the good times.
I "visit" my mother three times a year: Mother's Day is one of them (due to vagaries of weather and work, it was on Friday this year). There is, however, not a day that I don't have a conversation with her...so you're not being morbid. You're just being her daughter.
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Ms. X:
ReplyDeletePardon me if once again a stranger offers his condolences on your loss.
My mother (now gone), sister, niece and great-aunt used to go out together each Memorial Day to the local cemetery where many members of our family were interred. There are simple stone markers set flush with the ground. We would spend time clearing the last year's growth of grass from around the edges, while talking about the good memories that accompanied the dead. There is always a running joke that my grandmother's grave never had any growth on it since she wouldn't allow it (you had to know her to understand it fully; that little immigrant woman had a will of steel).
They do it on Memorial Day rather than an anniversary of deaths, since it seemed fitting to remember them all rather than on the disparate days. For your Mom Mother's Day seems entirely appropriate.
My sister and niece still carry on that little tradition, and it helps keep the memories of our lost ones alive (which is all most of us can hope for).
I hope that you have good weather for it, and remember your Mom with fond memories of the good times you've had. If some tears fall while you're tending to things that happens to us, too. Eventually it becomes a happy thing rather than a sad one; my Mom passed too recently for that to be true for me yet.
Best wishes for happy remembrances on your Mother's Day.
Today, do exactly as you planned.
ReplyDeletePerhaps for next year you could give a kind word, or a kind deed, to a mother who has lost her children.
I was surprised at how far I had moved along the road of healing in the year after my mother's death.
They never really leave us. My Mom has been gone for quite a few years but I still hear something funny and think I should call her; only to remember where she is. Remember the good times.
ReplyDeleteIt;s not morbid at all .
ReplyDeleteYour relationship with your mother isn't over it's just changed . Your adjusting .
Glenn
I wanted to agree with Glenn Kelley. Cemeteries are a place for remembering and honoring. They aren't morbid. Some are truly beautiful places.
ReplyDeleteI "visit" my mother three times a year: Mother's Day is one of them (due to vagaries of weather and work, it was on Friday this year). There is, however, not a day that I don't have a conversation with her...so you're not being morbid. You're just being her daughter.
ReplyDelete