So, the TV had just gone off* this morning and I was barely awake when the newscaster -- the one Tamara calls "hail fellow, well met" whenever she sees him -- announced that starting soon, "Airlines will be charging extra to check your package." My first, hazy thought was Great, the Christmas crotch-bomber made air travel even worse for menfolk.
Turns out he just meant baggage. Well, foo.
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* Fascinatingly, since I turn the volume all the way up so it will wake me when it comes on, the TV had "gone off" in every sense of the phrase: like a gunshot, like an irrationally angry person and (as ever) like dairy products too long on the shelf.
Imagine if they asked the same questions about your pants as they do about your luggage.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a witty wake-up.
Jim
"Attention, travelers; please be careful not to leave your package unattended. If travelling alone, keep your pants with you at all times. If travelling with companions, please make sure you or one of your companions watches your package at all times. In the interests of security, TSA agents may ask to inspect your package at any time. Thank you for your cooperation."
ReplyDeleteThey have warnings on the subway about "unattended packages". If I saw one of those things walking around on its own I would definitely report it. You can't be too careful these days.
ReplyDelete"What's in your package, sir?"
ReplyDelete"Oh, just some junk."
diary products?
ReplyDeleteUm, those, too? ;) Thanks!
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, Sunday was "Ride The Subway In Your Underwear Day" in Noo Yawk City, and some idjit decided that if it was good enough for Noo Yawk City, it was good enough for Seattle, so Seatac Airport, Southern terminus for Seattle's "Link Light Rail", had dozens of people wandering around in their underwear, waiting for the trip back north. (Local fishwrap had pictures, I didn't see any coverage on the TeeVee, but there might have been.)
ReplyDeleteNo reports of the TSA trying to inspect anyone's package, or junk, but RUMINT says at least a couple of members of the general public (NOTE: I remembered the "l") got upset.
WV: creps. Time for breakfast.
"hail fellow, well met"
ReplyDeleteDoes he do the weather, too? ;-P
And Larry Craig wanted his package checked for free!
ReplyDeleteF***in' Senators!
All these crappy jokes about having an explosive package in one's pants, and only good taste holding me back.
ReplyDeleteNo, wait. Not holding me back so much. Whoops.
I took a screengrab of the word verification:
ReplyDeleteballs