Tuesday, July 03, 2012

"And Now The News"

I'm scanning the headlines, yawn...Anderson Cooper comes out, to the surprise of almost nobody...some second-row model/actress giving Jessica Alba the stink-eye for having been handed better genes...undersea worms consume the bones of their victims by spraying acid, ho-hum...Higgs Boson 99.999 likely found...and something goes click. Ah-ha! Of course; it's the only logical reason:

I turn to Tam and say, "That's why Anderson Cooper confirmed it! --He's been dating the Higgs boson!"

Tam (reading items of actual worth, suddenly interrupted): "Higgins's bosom? Arthur Anderson?"

RX: "No, Higgs boson. Anderson Cooper? War of Jenkin's Ear?"

Tam: "Wart on Jenkin's ear?"

Less news. More fiction. It's a lot more internally consistent. And believable -- didja hear about the scary-skinny E! hostess who will cover the Olympics despite the near-certainly that it means she'll miss the birth of her and her husband's first child? Yep: hired a host-mother. Welcome to the future, still without flying cars or hotels on the Moon.

Update: Wednesday morning, the strange man in my TV was pronouncing it "Higgs bosun." As in the Navy rank. Now it's even clearer: see, the Higgs bosun couldn't go public until DADT was changed to "whatever, dude." I hope they're very happy together. Also, I wonder what kind of ship is the Higgs.

P.S. Since she's unlikely to tell you, Tam's knee sports a major bruise after her fall the other day -- but she's walking okay. Still, ow!

9 comments:

  1. I thought that Rancic had breast cancer in addition to fertility problems. And I'm a little sad that I knew that off the top of my head.....

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  2. She does (or did). Kind of explains the skinnies, except she seems to have always been that thin. (Kind of explains a determination to seize as much of the day as possible, too.)

    I was just struck by the blase way the tabloid press was treating it. C'mon, it's now possible for a child's biological mother to miss the birth? Been that way for awhile, I know, but most of those Mom's are not missing the event to cover the Olympics.

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  3. I gotta come here for news of Tam's knee?

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  4. The future used to be the clean happy perfect Star Trek future. Now it might be the dark dangerous BladeRunner future.

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  5. Long as it ain't Airman Third Class Axel Higgs (go on, I'll wait).

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  6. Anyone that didn't suspect AC was using a tad too much loafer lightener needs to have their gaydar recalibrated.

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  7. I could dig condo's on the Moon but I hate staying in hotels.
    Hopes to her leg/knee gettin' better - is it her shifter foot or clutch leg? I'm all abut disabilitating fubars lately, and multiples.

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  8. What historical rifle for crutch? Please don't use the bayonet indoors.

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  9. I set on the edge of the couch watching Star Trek: The Next Generation growing up, and it's funny to note the difference between the pronunciation of data and Data.

    The "Higg" is a patrol vessel on the SLOCs of the Abell 222 - 223 run.

    "Higg's Bosun" is the title of the series, which could focus on the crew.

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