The Mexican Mole Lizard has a somewhat disappointed expression, and no wonder-- Picture it, the Day Before Creation, all the little blob-like proto-critters receiving their assignments: the Pink Fairy Armidillo has already got hers, and is bobbing up and down with excitement, imagining tutus and magic wands rather than a career spent eating bugs in the desert. Now the Hand of Fate turns to the next one, holding a contract.
"Oh, wow! I'll be a sleek, partially scaled critter, with hands and arms and a long tail and a kinda-handsome, person-like face? I'll be under the surface most of the time?" He signs with alacrity, and turns to the puggle-to-be beside him, "Dude! I'm gonna be a merman!"
Well, no; you see, Bipes biporus, the Mexican Mole Lizard doesn't even get to be a snake that can open doors (and thank goodness for that: "Bing-bong, mole lizard calling!" No thanks). They're about the size of a large pencil, and hunt for scaled-down edibles underground. They do have convenient little forelimbs -- and a permanent expression of mild chagrin.
The Pink Fairy Armadillo is adorable, in a we-made-a-mistake-hiring-H.R.Giger-to-design-Muppets sense of the word adorable. A wittoo cutie death metal hamster, who wonders why the children won't play with her and be her friend.
ReplyDeleteMike James
That was hilarious.
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