Are we all "moron magnets" when driving?
Is the temptation ever almost too overwhelming to walk towards the perfume-sprayers at Biggo Department Store with a powerful butane lighter set to max at concealed ready, sidestep as they spray and ignite the plume?
Do you, too, watch C-SPAN and want to send every Congresscritter and most of the people in their immediate vicinity postcards with only one question: "Are you out of your tiny mind?"
This is a lovely planet but at times I wonder if I'm really from here.
"Does everyone else find chafing dishes kind of irritating, too? (Maybe talcum powder would help?)
ReplyDeleteTry wearing them outside your underoos instead of inside,
"Are we all "moron magnets" when driving?"
ReplyDeleteMy polarity must be wrong; I tend to attract more assholes than morons.
I spend many an hour watching those around me in wonder. Yes, I am almost certain I must be from a different planet. Likely transmogrified here at birth or something.
ReplyDeleteI've been more tempted to send them carefully tied nooses made of brand new rope. Just to see if they get the point.
ReplyDeleteI like chafing dishes because they exemplify "conspicuous archaicism."
ReplyDeleteIs "archaicism" a word?