Guards? Guards?

He's got armed guards outside his office. He's got Security in his parking lots -- but he doesn't want his employees to have their legally-owned firearms locked and hidden in their own legally-owned cars when they park in his company's lot.

Y'know where John C. Lechleiter, President, Chairman, CEO and Priest-King of the Eli Lilly empire hasn't got anybody minding the store, let alone watching the watchmen? At their big drug warehouse in Enfield, Connecticut, that's where. Seems a little somethin' has turned up missing. $75 million in "little somethings," in fact.

Yep, in the same week we lost Mr. Phelps, reporters are invoking Mission: Impossible to describe the caper, which involved scaling walls, slicing open warehouse roofs, etc. etc., though without that pesky "evading guards" stuff.

I'm sooooo impressed. Luckily, there's already a song about this level of corporate schizoid behavior -- hit it, kids!
Heh.