"Vote For Me -- I Don't Know What I'm Doing!"

     The ads are all of a pattern:

     "[CANDIDATE] is an outsider.  Unfamiliar with indoor plumbing, skeptical of color television and Touch-Tone™ dialing, [CANDIDATE] will bring a fresh perspective to governing." (Ad goes on to outline experience unrelated to office being sought.)

     Yeah, that's not working for me.  I want them to be a little familiar with being a functional part of government, most of which consists of fairly dull paperwork and trying to convince peers or other branches to go along with your own fool notions, horse-trading as necessary. And don't lie to me; if you've already served a term in high office, you're not an "outsider" any more.  Give it up.

     Right now, the Indiana Governor's race has still got Business Authoritarian, Religious Authoritarian and plain ol' "45 Loves Me!" Authoritarian, three strong men who promise to bash the state into shape no matter how loudly anyone in it yells, plus Generic Placeholder Republican and Generic Placeholder Democrat, the latter two being a couple of women who at least seem pleasant and are not (so far) inside my television set talking nonsense.  The first three all want me to know what kind of way outside outsiders they are, fine, upstanding fellows with nary a hint of the taint of "Government" on them -- including a serving U. S. Senator.  And while I do admit the Senator in question seems pretty damn useless in Washington, D.C., anybody who can make his way from the Senate cloakroom to the cafeteria unassisted and has an office in the complicated complex of buildings connected to the Capitol has lost any claim to outsiderness.  (To still have a chance of being seriously considered an "outsider" after that, he ought to be sleeping rough and own only what he can keep in his pockets, but I'm a harsh judge.)

     The other two "outsiders" are a guy who claims to be a successful businessman -- which these days means he either knows his way around laws and regulations, or has hired people who do and taken their advice -- and a fellow who thinks it is very important that I know his grandfather was a pastor.  The last time I checked, religious piety wasn't an inheritable trait, nor was it a necessary skill for being Governor (and a good thing, too -- Indiana's had one or two real hellions in that office), and otherwise, his only demonstrated abilities are being an okay actor in TV commercials and fathering about a half-dozen children.  I'll even grant that the last might count as applicable job experience, but I'd like to see a few more relevant entries on their resumes.  School board?  Scout Leader?  Hello?