Last night was the third of three debates among the Republicans running for the U. S. Senate seat presently occupied by Democrat (though he hates to admit when he's home) Joe Donnelly.
It has been an ugly campaign. Each man has been trying to run to the Right of the other two, a process in which shoving your opponent Left works just as well -- and that is, perhaps, good, since they're running out of room on the Right.
They ran out of truth quite some time ago, but their supply of factiods, inferences and accusations about one another appears to be inexhaustible.
And meanwhile, Just Plain Joe runs ads with himself at the wheel of a Winnebago,* tieless, opened-collared, smiling broadly and talking about Just Plan Hoosier Values. Does he believe in them when he's in Washington? ...As long as his party doesn't yank his chain, sure; but make no mistake, he knows what party he's in when it counts.
And meanwhile, the GOP's Three Stooges are falling all over themselves to each be a bigger booster of Mr. Trump than the other two, which again is a process in which you score just as many points if you show your primary opponents haven't been onboard the Trump train as early, often or unreservedly as yourself. They're all just shy of swearing personal-loyalty oaths, and they might get that far by Election Day.
It doesn't strike me as a good sign. I don't think there's a dime's worth of difference between them, and even if you threw Senator Donnelly into the soup pot and boiled them all down, there's wouldn't be enough gravitas among the group to move a feather, nor sufficient substance to float one.
Come the general election, I am considering writing in for one of the orangutans at the Indianapolis Zoo. Azy looks like a good bet -- he has fair computer skills, is considered the "peacemaker" of the group, enjoys meeting new people and it appears he wouldn't be easily intimidated. That's already greater qualifications for the job than the incumbent and his challengers have demonstrated. Or perhaps Katy, another computer-literate problem-solver, and she gets along well with men, a prime asset in Congress. But would six years in the U. S. Senate be fair to either one?
Probably not. We're going to have to send one of the human fools angling for the job off to the Senate. I'm hoping the Libertarians will run someone for the office, preferably someone sane; I'll vote for 'em but an orangutan would have a better chance of winning.
And I'd expect it would run a better campaign than we've seen so far, too.
Political analysis by Simon & Garfunkel:
Going to the candidates' debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Every way you look at this you lose
* Or some other big RV. Many brands are built in northern Indiana, and you can count on his team to have picked one of them. That little touch should be a warning to whoever goes against him this Fall.
1 month ago