Wednesday, June 04, 2008

They've Got A Little List

Ha! Haha, ha hahaha! SnarkyBytes (that much-travelled man) shares a web-find that proves my point, sports fans! They're savin' a seat for ya in the warm place!

See Item Four? Ha! And again, Ha!

As for me, I'm safe on that one and I have always been Temperance and never, ever, ever uttered a vile oath unminced. As far as you know.

In fact, I'd bet...

Oh, drat. Item 12, right up there at the top of the second column. And item six. Scoot over, willya?

7 comments:

Turk Turon said...

I'm sure that there must be some acknowledgement of the degree of the offense. For example, for child molesting you might get a thousand years. But for something like, say, masturbation you would only get five minutes.

Although, for some people, it can really add up!

Roberta X said...

Awww, geesh.

That explains the eyeglasses.

Rev Guido Sarducci said...

"Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents (it doesn't seem like much, but it adds up). If there's money left when you subtract what you owe from what you've earned, you can go to heaven. If not, you have to go back to work. (Sort of like reincarnation -- many nuns are Mafia guys working it off.)"

--Guido Sarducci, SJ

og said...

I'm sooo screwed.

Robb Allen said...

What? No SEXUAL IMPURITIVENESS?

Speaking of glasses, when I was younger my dad told me that if I didn't quit playing with myself, I'd go blind.

I said "Dad... I'm over here"

Turk Turon said...

And Bingo! We have a winner at 9:56AM. Thank you, Father Guido.

And, by the way, I don't even wear glasses.

staghounds said...

So then where do deaf people come from?

And I suspect you don't love money, just what it buys.

Seriously, the sports fans and psychics ruin an otherwise pleasant guest list.