So, yesterday I'm driving into work, doing a weekday ritual:
1. Slide passenger seat forward.
2. Remove small metal case from floor behind seat.
3. Set case on passenger seat.
4. Slide passenger seat back.
I do this while the car is in motion and without looking; subsequent steps are performed only while stopped.
This time, the completion of Step 4 was marked by, "Pssss...ssss...ssssssssssssssSs...." Disconcerting.
I slid the seat forward and reached without looking again, encountered something cylindrical, picked it up, and lifted it around towards me.
"ssssssssSsss!" I sprayed "Instant TireFlator" on the right side of my face and got a little in my right eye! Took a couple of seconds to work out what was going on: the side seam was slightly (!!!) popped and any flexing at all made it open. "sssSss," indeed.
I transferred it to my left hand ("SSsss...") and pulled over to the left-side curb, grateful I was on a one way road, and tossed it into a handy trashcan. ("SSssssssss") Cleaned my face and eye off as best I could with a paper towel, pondered the time it would take to get to work (less than five minutes, if I timed the lights right) and took off.
Rinsed out my eye as soon as I arrived, looked up the MSDS for the stuff, and ran through a whole pint bottle of eyewash (naptha and ammonia, eeeee).
"You have such interesting drives to work," one of my co-workers remarked. Yeah, ain't they just?
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
8 months ago