Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Report From The Front

     The following has been slightly modified, to protect the guilty:

Dear REMF:

     Troops arrived promptly on schedule; ammunition and supplies, scheduled to be available here not later than Friday last, instead arrived four hours later.  Ammunition was mostly in the wrong caliber; after considerable delay, a small amount was matched to one (1) gun.  I'm told the big shells may not be here for quite some time.  Your office expressed somewhat whimsical mild dismay when I made inquiries.

     No communication equipment of any kind was sent.  When asked, your office replied that it was "hardwired into a box we don't usually send for squad-level jobs," and asked if perhaps I had something I could lend.

     After an entire day of what could, with charity, be described as slight progress, I was informed that one-third of the men you sent were for that day only, and will be transported elsewhere starting this morning.

     The enemy was not contacted.  This is just as well, for with support like yours, all they really need to do is keep their boots polished and their teeth brushed until we have defeated ourselves.

     Very sincerely,
     Lt. R. J. Ecks

9 comments:

skidmark said...

So, in military terms, significant progress and ground gained, although the body count was lower than anticipated.

Per SOP, we will now retire for the night back to the FOB and execute the same mission again tomorrow, hoping that something - anything - is different that time.

Remember, it's all a matter of mind over matter - they don't mind and you and your piddling job don't matter. Sole source or continuing contract?

stay safe.

The Old Man said...

Resembles entirely too much AARs I authored/endorsed in my career. Salubrious results may occasionally be obtained under the "Sherman Potter Dictum" aka "My bird wants to talk to your bird".
Remember non-verbal blue-on-blue action is counter-productive and WILL be reflected in your next FITREP.
Godspeed and good luck.

Bruce Edwards said...

Is that kerfuffle with two f's or three, or just an old fashioned fluster cluck ?

Ken said...

You tell 'em, LT.

rickn8or said...

Basic Mk1 Mod 0 Chinese Fire Drill.

(Or is that lacist??)

Bubblehead Les. said...

Sounds like the Crap I put up with at Lowes last week trying to get a new Washer delivered SIX MILES. Ordered on Sunday, told it would be delivered Tuesday Afternoon, finally showed up Thursday Morning AFTER Four calls to the Store AND TWO to Corporate.

Personally, I think the only thing that shows up on time is Bills and the Gooberment wanting their Taxes.

You do know, of course, that all the Screw Ups that the REMFs did will be blamed on you, right? Take Care.

wheelgun said...

"Those of us who have for so long done so much with so little, are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

"I just drew up the plan for your project; I started with the assumption that anything I don't understand must be easy to do."

There are so many quotes from so many places... but the only one that matters...

"Illigitmati non carborundum" (Don't let the bastards grind you down!)

Old NFO said...

I was 'wondering' where the rest of the troops went... I got ammo, but no guns... sigh

Anonymous said...

Hurry Up! We do not have time to do it right, but by the grace of all, we will find time to do it all over again later.