Wednesday, November 18, 2015

In Which Gilbert & Sullivan Present An Internet Troll

     ...Over a hundred years early!

     For those who don't want to sit through the singing:
If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I can
I'm a genuine philanthropist; all other kinds are sham
Each little fault of temper and each social defect
In my erring fellow creature I endeavour to correct.
To all their little weaknesses I open peoples' eyes
And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise
I love my fellow creatures--I do all the good I can
Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man
And I can't think why!

To compliments inflated I've a withering reply
And vanity I always do my best to mortify
A charitable action I can skilfully dissect
And interested motives I'm delighted to detect!
I know everybody's income and what everybody earns
And I carefully compare it with their income tax returns
But to benefit humanity however much I plan,
Yet, everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man
And I can't think why!

I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be
And you'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee
I've an irritating chuckle; I've a celebrated sneer
I've an entertaining snigger; I've a fascinating leer!
To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two
I can tell a woman's age in half a minute--and I do!
But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can
Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man
And I can't think why!
     ...Pretty sure I ran across him on Facebook the other day.

4 comments:

JC said...

What an incredibly bright young man this bright young man must be!

Susan Levy said...

hello, Roberta

My name is Susan Levy; I'm a friend of Ben Hammer's. Anyway, I'm a long-time G&S fan; I like your characterization of Gama as an Internet troll. I guess that kind of pain in the you-know-what has been around for a long time; the Internet has only given these people wider exposure.

Anonymous said...

" done with great enthusiasm and minuscule knowledge."

Ah!

Gun 'control'!

Joseph said...

OTOH, Gama was eventually cruelly tortured by surrounding him with people who ... AGREED WITH HIM ALL THE TIME!