I am. I have been. With saline solution dissolved in distilled water and gee, if you forget to shake up the bottle even once, you know it right away.
I said I'd talk about nasal lavage if it was funny. Turns out the only funny part is the Coanda Effect, which in this context translates to "mind your elbows:" I'm using a soft plastic bottle to push a saline solution up one nostril; the jet of water that is supposed to be coming back out the other nostril -- and it does -- then runs down the side of the bottle, across my fingers (ew!) and down my forearm (Ew!); if I have had the foresight to push up my sleeve, once it reaches my elbow, it finally breaks with Coanda and splatters onto my toes until I remember and steer the dripping elbow back over the sink. If, on the other hand, I have not pushed up my sleeve, water begins to pool inside the elbow of my nightgown until I notice, say bad words, set the bottle down, do a contortionist move to take my arm out of the sleeve without exposing my skin to the cold, cold air, wring the wet sleeve out over the sink out, get my arm back in the now damp and chilly sleeve, which I must push up into a sodden mass out of the way before I return to sinus-rinsing, annoyed and planning to change nightgowns -- again! -- and run the other one through a quick wash -- again! Naturally, I restart by dripping rinse water from my elbow onto my toes. And did I mention they have me do a whole bottle per nostril? Having completed the dance left-handed, I must start all over from the right side. Or vice versa.
So that's the big excitement around here. Oh -- and I'm supposed to do this four to eight times a day. I managed four yesterday. I'll try for six today. If the doctor's office calls back tomorrow, I'll gurgle at them.
* * *Yesterday afternoon, I cheated. I'd been planning to add winterizing treatment to the gas in my motorscooter before surgery, but it didn't work out. Yesterday afternoon, temperatures were in the high forties and climbing and I didn't feel too bad, so I went out and put the stuff in. I'd brought my helmet just in case, and gloves are always a good idea, and you know, sloshing the scooter back and forth only helps mix treated and untreated gas just so much. You have to start the engine if you're going to get that stuff in the carburetor where it will do some serious good...
|Scooter and me, 2007|
It wasn't prudent. It wasn't cautious. It pretty much used up all my energy and I retreated back to bed not long after parking the scooter, and slept off and on for fifteen hours. But it sure was fun!