Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Pana-Placebocea

Do you feel insecure? Are loud, overbearing neighbors making you fret? Have experiences in previous decades left you without reserves? Try the wonder drug Maginot!

STG, under the supervision of CORF, is proud to present their all-new, iron-clad shield for the worried and weary: Joffre's MAGINOT! A modern miracle of integrated systems, featuring early warning of troubling symptoms and deep, deep defense, Maginot will lift those shadows and put pep back in your step! In no time at all, you'll be sipping cafe au lait, smoking Gauloises, debating Existential philosophy and sneering at tourists. Ask your policy advisers about Maginot today!

Warning: use of Maginot may lead to overconfidence. Some users of Maginot have experienced lengthy periods of loss of control, in some cases lasting over four years. This product must not be used in conjunction with Belgium. Maginot and the related treatment, Eben-Emael, have not been tested for success against shaped charges or glider assault. Consult modern strategists before using Maginot. Use only as directed and don't forget, there's always surrender followed by collaboration, with underlying determined resistance until side-effects abate; direct application of American, British and Commonwealth forces may speed relief.

PS: Once again, Italy wins on style points! Way kewl. Didn't actually see a whole lot of use.

16 comments:

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

I sit in awe. Wondering only, "what in the world engendered this?" :)

Tam said...

This is what she was nattering about when she came out of the shower yesterday.

Every morning, I await the post-shower non sequitir with no small amount of trepidation...

Bubblehead Les. said...

Somewhere there is a site that shows wonderful pictures of various Swiss Bomb Shelter, Bunkers, etc. Wish I had the link for you.

Stretch said...

Why aren't you teaching history at the local college? Oh, ya. Selection Committee wouldn't understand what the Hell you were talking 'bout.

Chas S. Clifton said...

I wonder what archaeologists of the year 4000 will make of those Italian pillboxes. "Religious shrines," no doubt--that is the all-purpose explanation for what you don't understand.

Weren't some of the Maginot forts turned into luxury villas? Maybe they appeal to the same sort of people as those who remodel missile silos here.

Tam said...

"I wonder what archaeologists of the year 4000 will make of those Italian pillboxes. "Religious shrines," no doubt--that is the all-purpose explanation for what you don't understand."

Oh, man, don't get me started...

Have you read Motel of the Mysteries?

Secesh said...

Those Italian pillboxes are way cool!! They would make a great background for a Star Wars or Indiana Jones movie.

Aaron said...

As my history teacher described it, "The Maginot line was the most impressive static defense in the first industrial war of maneuver."
Gotta wonder how that was planned, surely they won't go through Belgium...again.
The French military planners clearly never read the Evil Overlord List.

Justthisguy said...

Well, actually, I thought its purpose was to make the Germans go around it, to a place where the French mobile forces would be waiting for them. Oh, Belgium. Dang!

Ed Skinner said...

Brown trousers recommended.

Roberta X said...

Justthisguy: actually... The Belgians had pretty good forts, too; and why not let them soften up the traditional foe? The French actually did have some fortification well in from their border with Belgium, too.

Roberta X said...

I love the way the Italian fortifications echoed the helmets of gladiators, those empty, determined eyes staring down the foe.

Drang said...

As my history teacher described it, "The Maginot line was the most impressive static defense in the first industrial war of maneuver." Heard it before. I'm sure it was a great comfort to the GIs bleeding trying to break through the Siegfried Line.

NYEMT said...

So, Tam - you're saying that warm water beating on Bobbi's skull washes these fascinating things loose?

Hmm...maybe I should rotate the daughters through the shower BEFORE homework, rather than after..

Chas S. Clifton said...

Tam, yes, I treasure Motel of the Mysteries.

Montie said...

Bobbie,

As I work my way through the whole thing, marveling at the way you managed to put that all together, the thought pops into my head...
Hey didn't I last see emplacements like those Italian ones on "The Guns of Navarone"?

That is, before it wanders off in other directions like Patton's thoughts on fixed fortifications:

"Pacifists would do well to study the Siegfried and Maginot Lines, remembering that these defenses were forced; that Troy fell; that the walls of Hadrian succumbed; that the Great Wall of China was futile; and that, by the same token, the mighty seas which are alleged to defend us can also be circumvented by a resolute and ingenious opponent. In war, the only sure defense is offense, and the efficiency of offense depends on the warlike souls of those conducting it." - General George S. Patton, Jr., War As I Knew It. 1947.

Which then led to another string of thought...apparently I suffer the same type of "frog in a blender internal dialogue". It drives the officers I supervise a little nuts.