"Brought To You By...."

     I have been wondering why TV coverage of the impeachment hearings hasn't been sponsored.

     You may be under the impression that TV's gavel-to-gavel broadcasts of the impeachment hearings are required.  Nope.  It's optional.  C-SPAN covers it, high, wide and mighty; the fed.gov is their beat.  Network TV covers it because none of them want to get "scooped" by their competition.  Local TV carries it (instead of, oh, Oprah!  reruns or highlights of the World Knitting Championships) for the same reason.

     But most of it, for all that it actually is History In The Making, is a remarkable combination of infuriating and deadly dullness.  Sure. the infuriating part varies depending on your political leanings, but that's a mere detail against the broad canvas of nodding off interspersed with cussing at the TV.

     They should sell ads during it -- at least little text crawls across the bottom of the screen:

     "TODAY'S HEARINGS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ASPIRIN!  TAKE TWO WHEN IT GETS TO BE TOO MUCH!"

     "THIS DUSK-TO-DAWN COVERAGE IS SPONSORED BY J*CK D*NIELS!  KEEP A BOTTLE HANDY AS YOU WATCH -- YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT."

     "DRAIN CLEANER HAS MANY USES, BUT NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS GET, PLEASE DON'T DRINK IT -- CALL THE DESPAIR HELPLINE! (A reminder from S. C. J*hns*on.)"

     It could only improve the hearings-watching experience.