There are two day left until Christmas, and I'm ready for that.
There are five days left until Family Christmas. I'm not likely to be going.
It's too stressful. I struggle with social anxiety, especially in unstructured situations. A big, sprawling, chaotic party is probably very relaxing for most people but it's nearly nonstop fear, panic and disorientation for me. Worse yet, a lot of my family are stressed by social situations and unwilling to admit it, so we kind of heterodyne. Adding in any of the normal tensions of adult life -- money woes, child worries, relationships going through a rough patch -- and it's a mixture that trembles on the edge of explosion.
In recent years, I have gotten through these by giving myself permission to just leave if it got to be too much, an option I took more than once. This year's gathering is on the far side of the county and with my Mom gone, I don't have close ties to most of the group, nor much in common with them. Walking on eggshells for several hours among people I barely know followed by a long drive home in the dark is daunting.
So I'll probably skip it.
BUILDING A 1:1 BALUN
4 years ago
3 comments:
I've had the same issue for many years. However sinceDad is now gone these past two years, and Mom is deep in the world of Alzheimers, I haven't had to face these 'family' celebrations. I'm at peace with that, and everything that goes along with it. I sympathize and understand your situation quite well.
I understand. I live about 40 miles from my hometown. Several of my siblings live there, but I finished my dad's estate a short time ago, and have not been up there for quite some time.
To be honest, I never really got along with my siblings that well when we were kids, and they treated me quite badly, including my twin brother. And so I don't have a huge incentive to visit them now.
When they come to my city to shop, or to attend a movie or one of the things that are only available here in our bigger city, they do not visit my wife or myself. My wife at first was not quite sure what was going on. But after a few years of marriage, she saw how they are, and became pretty much as jaded as me. It is sad that there so many families like this, but I know there are.
You don’t know me, but I wish you a very Merry Christmas. All the best.
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