There Is Still No Antimemetics Division

     I read and enjoyed There Is No Antimemetics Division in both text forms, and it turns out there's a short film, as well.

     It's well done, and if you enjoy this sort of thing, here you go.

Pretty Normal, Considering

     Counting supporters, detractors, journalists and the lunatic in prison stripes who jumped in front of the limo,* around a thousand people showed up outside the courthouse for former President Donald Trump's arraignment in Federal court yesterday.

     In a city that size, it's about what I would expect for a high-visibility political candidate not appearing at a rally.  Yes, the talking heads and clicking keyboards will tell you the circumstances are unprecedented and they're right; most Presidents and ex-Presidents manage to stay out of serious trouble, though some have been better at it than others.  On the other hand, Mr. Trump is not the first pol to end up in a courtroom, and the high-profile ones do draw a crowd.  What they have not drawn are riots and we didn't get one yesterday, either.  Chalk that up as a win for civil society, even including the guy with a real pig's head on a pole and the protester getting roughly arrested for making dumb moves around a Secret Service-protected motorcade.  I'll even let 'em have one called-in bomb threat without a bomb.  As such things go these days, the public reaction was essentially normal.

     The staggering level of denial over the nature and severity of the alleged offense isn't normal, but to have expected otherwise would have been unreasonable.  That high will be a long time wearing off and the hangover is liable to be epic.

     I'm sure the whatabout brigade is lining up to comment, so for them I'll point out that if being sloppy with high-security government files was, say, speeding, President Biden and former Vice President Pence were five over the limit, Secretary Clinton was nearing ten over...and per the evidence, ex-President Trump was 50 mph over, not wearing a seatbelt and maybe going the wrong direction on the freeway.  Sometimes the traffic cop can't let you off with a stern lecture and a warning to not do it again.  Sometimes you end up in court.
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* Protip: Don't do this, no matter how deep or sincere your feelings, no matter how sure you are that your cause is just.  It doesn't end well.

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho, It's Off To [Undisclosed Location] I Go

     Gotta say, I'm not looking forward to this.  There's a lot of paperwork and proving of bona fides involved and there will be even more at the test site -- all contactless until the last step, which is the part that I am told isn't fun. 

     The telephone screener/intake person was interesting.  Obviously working from home and struggling a little bit with the software, she apologized for being a slow typist.  "I'm not very quick at this.  Normally I do research," she said.  "I'm a scientist."

     My screener was a Ph.D.

     There's a whole knot of biomedical research, manufacturing, support and hospitals downtown, in a broad arc that sweeps from the granddaddy of them all, the vast Eli Lilly* complex, and curves northwest to the hospitals and related establishments on and around the IUPUI campus and then swings northeast to the collection of huge buildings that comprise Methodist hospital.  The hospitals are busy and crowded; Lilly's got one division working on COVI-19 treatments and their insulin section is obviously essential.  But everybody else, if their work wasn't essential, got sent home and their PPE was given to be used by people working with the infected and possibly infected.

     That leaves a huge pool of talent trying to work from home; if the bulk of your work is in a lab somewhere, there's a finite amount of paperwork to do, and after that--  Well, after that, it seems, there's still work to be done, even if it's not in one's usual line.  I wouldn't be surprised to learn a lot of the people collecting and collating data for the Indiana State Department of Health are drawn from that same group.

     Meanwhile, several local distillers and a hairspray manufacturer are turning out home-grown hand sanitizer for first responders; that leaves more of the usual commercial product available for you and me, and keeps the people in the police department, the fire department, paramedics and others a little safer.  Their exposure is higher than just about anyone's (except that nice person running the cash register at your local grocer's or big-box five-and-dime, don't forget him or her) and they need that alcohol-laden goo.

     This is how a city functions when things go sideways; this is how all our cities are functioning, as best as they can.
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* Lilly, it should be noted, is to the patent protection of medicines what Disney is to copyright.  And that's something to ponder.

Scene, Seen

     I was walking out of the grocery last night, pushing a small cart loaded with a couple of bags groceries when it happened.  A man was backing his SUV out of a space, alternating between looking over his shoulder and watching me and other pedestrians through the windshield.

     It's a tight parking lot, four rows of angled spaces packed into what would be a generous space for three.  With four rows, only the smallest cars can make a smooth job of backing out; most drivers have to do a little back and forth.  This guy was no exception.  He was on the second reversing leg, almost lined up with the lane--

     On the side of the lane opposite where he'd parked, an older long-bed pickup truck wasn't all the way into its space.  It wasn't over by much.  I'd noticed it as something to be aware of, thanks to its shiny wasabi-green paint job and sable-and-cream dual pinstriping.

     The man in the SUV hadn't, quite.  He reversed slowly, carefully, and put his back bumper right into the side of the SUV, behind the left rear wheel.  The pickup truck shuddered on its shocks and the sheet metal crumpled inward.  I'd been watching as I crossed the lane in front of him and did that intake of breath you do when something goes irretrievably wrong.

     By then, I was at the side of my car, thirty or forty feet away. The man in the SUV made eye contact with me, hard eye contact, and I wondered where my pepper spray was, just in case.  He pulled back into the space he'd been parked in before and seemed to be thinking.  I tried to watch him out of the corner of my eye, as he got out, checked his back bumper, and got back his SUV.

      As soon as he shut the door, another man, a redhead with a fringe of beard,  came out of the grocery, walked over to the truck, got in, started it up and looked around.  By then, I was frankly staring, entranced by the tableau.  (It would have been a good time to get in my car and leave, if my best path out hadn't been right between them.)

     The man in the SUV kind of shrugged like he'd made his mind up and rolled down his window.  "Hey, buddy!  Hey!"

     In the pickup, the driver looked around, then rolled his window down.

     "Yeah, buddy?" Mr. SUV got out and walked over to the green truck. "I-- I backed into your truck."

     The redhead said something back, and got out.  Both men walked to the back of the truck and looked at the damage, talking quietly.

     The SUV driver reached for his back pocket.  By then I had put my groceries in my car, and was standing where I could duck behind it.  When he reached back, I flinched.  But he was going for his wallet.

     The redhead held up a hand and shook his head, speaking loud enough that I could hear him, "No.  No, it's okay.  I can fix this myself."

     The two men shook hands, got back in their vehicles and, one after another, pulled out and left.

     Make of it what you will, but if nothing more, it's a pretty good example of how to act like an adult, from both of them.

FWIW

     For whatever it's worth: as far as I know, there is no "I wuz aimin' to do right" exception to state laws, and unless human life or limb was in immediate, visible danger, judges and juries are unlikely to give you much of a do-gooder discount.

     Please make a note of it.

Yo!

Yo!

     Yeah, that's all for right now.  Lawn work was rained out yesterday.  The Data Viking was gonna visit for the 1500 today but his lawn work was rained out, too.

     You'd never guess what I am going to try doing between rainshowers today....

Gun Stuff: Pro Tip

     Here's a hint, kids: if you're going to go gun-shopping, do not do so while obviously stoned to the gills.  In particular, do not ride around in the Magic Van inhaling the smoke from the herb of the fields (or just basking in it) and then go in to the boomstick shop reeking of ganja.  You see, on the 4473 form, Section A, question 11.e., it asks "Are you an unlawful user of, or addicted to, marijuana or any depressant, stimulant, narcotic drug, or any other controlled substance?" followed at the end of the part you fill out by, "I certify that my answers to Section A are true, correct and complete...." over your signature.

     It is quite literally a Federal crime to give false answers on that form.  If the nice clerk at the gun store takes the form you have filled out, does the seller's sections and calls in to the NICS background check knowing you have said "No" to A.11.e. while sharing pot smoke strong enough to cause sneezing fits on the other side of the showroom, they would be complicit in a Federal crime.  Generally, gun store employees are not interested in committing Federal crimes.  They're probably going to ask you nicely to come back another time, when you are, ahem, perhaps more yourself?

     This is not to say marijuana Prohibition -- or any other drug law -- is necessarily Good and Right.  Personally, I think all those laws need to go; in my opinion, all they do is enrich and empower a criminal class while turning potential misdemeanants* into for-sure felons.  It is, however, The Law, right there in ordinary typeset, and avoiding the breaking of it is trivially easy, what with the handy listing of prohibited and controlled substances. 

     In the Olden Days of, say, twenty years ago, the retail gun biz ran somewhat heavily to cigarette smokers.  Tobacco has fallen out of fashion and indoor smoking bans (another stupid law -- I like the fresher air, but it's not my store and it doesn't belong to the City Council or State Legislature, either) have become the norm.  The average salesperson at a gun store these days is a little younger, in a little better shape, and probably a non-smoker.  They're going to notice the Eau d'Mary-Jane and, having noticed, can't pretend they haven't. And then they're going to have to Just Say No.
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* Sorry kids, intoxicated is intoxicated and public overindulgence to the point of becoming a problem is not going to cease to be so just because the cause was Toledo Windowbox rather than Stoli.  Too harsh?  Too bad. 

Gosh, I Should Have Posted Something

     But I didn't -- it got all briefly exciting early this morning when Tam's range partner* showed up, reported there was a minivan driving around the block slowly that eventually parked and, "Three men got out, all wearing gray T-shirts and wandered down the block looking at houses.  Maybe they're casing them."

     So Tam went out the garage door and met her pal, and they circled the block again and went off to breakfast, from where I got a text, "The guys were contractors, trying to find their client; they did and they're setting up tools." 

     Look, sometimes it is monsters, and you don't wanna just put on blinkers and be oblivious; but usually it's not.   Hang back, observe and find out.  Which is what we all did.  (I did get chided for stepping out on the porch to look.  Hey, either they wuz Pure Evil and I was already dead; or they wanted the element of surprise and I spoiled it; or they were lost workmen and used to gettin' the hairy eyeball.)
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* I was thinking about tagging along last night.  Picked up a "blue gun" inert trainer and took up a nice Weaver stance -- ouch!  Nope, won't be doing that until the rotator cuff thing is sorted.

Difficult Mission

     Why modern fads don't always fare well in warfare:

     "Men, today we're going up against the enemy's Very Special Forces.  I don't need to tell you how difficult this is going to be, but remember, we fight them almost just as we would any other of the enemy's troops!  --Now, don't make our victory look too easy, all right?  These lads may not be quick as most on the uptake but remember, they have feelings and they're going to feel just terrible if we round them all up in the first fifteen minutes.  Okay, lets go out there and make them think they're giving us one hell of a fight!"

Wimpocracy

     It almost sounds like a joke, or the opening scene of some wistful, nostalgic prose pastorale: two boys walking along an autumn trail with a pellet gun -- an air rifle! -- planning to hunt squirrels.  They were walking, in fact, up the long-gone Monon railroad line, right past the former blacksmith's shop where my Dad, at the ripe old age of 16, bought the bolt-action .22 rifle presently locked up right down the hall. (You could do that, back then.)

     That stretch of the path also passes within a few blocks of an elementary school, just then letting out.  Or, as the news story's lede puts it, "Two juveniles with a pellet gun prompted a lockdown at Orchard Park Elementary School...."  Yeah.

     The report ends, "Officers will be investigating the incident and will work with the Hamilton County Prosecutor's Office to determine if any charges should be filed."

     Gee, air gun, no shots fired, legally possessed.  Squirrel season runs from 15 August 2013 to 31 January, 2014.*  Looks to me like the young would-be squirrel-hunters should be in the clear (barring any age-ist BB-gun nonsense buried in state law).  Can the school administrators be charged with reckless endangerment?  Hysteria? Arrant damfoolishness?  One could hope -- but don't hold your breath.
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* With  daily bag limit of five.  We're in no danger of running out; every year, squirrels produce a couple of litters of three pups each and,  as DNR observes, while  "[s]quirrels produce fewer offspring than other mammals..." they "...are more successful in rearing them."  Ma and Pa squirrel are a little too successful for their own good. With few natural checks-- a squirrel is a match for most cats (at least the local red or fox squirrels are) -- Man's got to maintain the balance.

"I Really Feel As If I Have Forgotten An Article Of Clothing."

     That's more-or-less how Tam put it; we had -- without consulting one another -- both decided to comply with one of Indiana's very few state-mandated victim-disarmament zones[1] and refrained from carrying sidearms while at the State Fair.

     I can -- sort of -- see their point; the Fair typically has outdoor crowd densities of the sort that make Fire Marshals twitchy and nervous, and the more-popular indoor venues sometimes resemble a Tokyo subway at rush hour. (And they'll let you lock your gun in your car in the State Fair parking lots,[2] at least.)

     Still, it's a strangely naked feeling and much worse for Tam than for me; I'm vain enough to rarely carry IWB or OC, whereas she puts a holstered gun on her belt as a part of putting on jeans, as automatically as you tie your shoes.

     ...Withal, it's worth it for our State Fair.  I don't have any grounds for comparison but I'll tell you, Indiana puts on a heck of a show, from 4-Hers and their critters to local beers and wines to technology old and new, a zillion tasty things to eat, rides and midway contests of luck and skill, High School Band Day competition, concerts, hucksters, DNR archery and angling and I don't know what all else lessons, crafts of every sort, the Historic Antique Drugstore (open year 'round, bring the kids in to see the leeches!) and -- as we were leaving -- a Peruvian folk band cranking out a remarkable arrangement of "A Whiter Shade Of Pale" on traditional instruments.  If you can't find something you like (maybe the 3-D zoetrope or the guy who sells rubber duckies in the accoutrements of a few hundred trades and professions?), you're probably dead already.

     --It would seem this posting, written last night, incited the Fates: here's what happens if you get caught with firearms at the State Fair. (tl;dr?  He was walked right back out, they handed his unloaded guns back, and he probably had to go to bed without supper. No Fair for him!)  The video, at least when I saw it. contained some fact errors, referring to the law as "policy" and claiming it was in effect all of the time.  Nope; the State Fairgrounds are a disarmament zone only while the Fair itself is on.  That where the Indy 1500 Gun Show is during non-Fair times!
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1. This is a matter of law:

 80 IAC 4-4-4 Deadly weapons prohibited
Authority: IC 15-13-2-9
Affected: IC 15-13-2; IC 15-13-7
Sec. 4. (a) This rule does not apply to a federal, state, or local law enforcement officer or to a person who has been employed or authorized by the state fair commission to provide security protection and services during the annual state fair.
(b) No person in possession of a deadly weapon shall be permitted onto or be permitted to remain on the fairgrounds during the annual state fair.
(c) Any deadly weapon found in the possession of a person while on the fairgrounds during the annual state fair is subject to immediate confiscation by law enforcement officers or other personsauthorized by the executive director of the state fair commission.
(d) Any person properly licensed to carry a firearm must secure the firearm in a locked compartment of his or her vehicle, and it shall not be visible to passersby. (State Fair Commission; 80 IAC 4-4-4; filed Jul 7, 2003, 3:15 p.m.: 26 IR 3538; readopted filed Oct 4, 2007, 10:29 a.m.: 20071024-IR-080070451RFA)

As written, this law applies to knives, too, but I have never had my belt-carried Latherman multi-tool or pocket-clip knife questioned at the Fair.

 2. However, the cautious gunnie nevertheless does not use the overflow parking at the Deaf School immediately to the north: it is, after all, a school.

     Federal headstamp .22 brass?

     Um, no.

No Smoke Detector, Saved By Passer-By

     Along Georgetown Road at 12:45 this morning, a passing motorist realized a house was on fire and rather than taking a picture and posting it to F@ceTwitGram or even calling 911 while driving on, he stopped, got out, and hammered on the door until the occupants were awake and exiting the house.

     Mission accomplished, he got in his car and left.  Who was that helpful stranger?  Nobody knows.  But the family whose lives he saved admit they didn't have working smoke detectors; had he not stopped, they would probably all be dead now.

     "If you see something, say something," works way better for Samaritans than snitches.

Officer Safety Meets Teen-Aged Idiots

     Madcap Hijinks do not ensue: the headline reads, "Columbus Police face battle against BB guns," and I was expecting to read a hand-wringing piece featuring one of Indiana's few "Illegal Mayors Against Guns."  Nope; Columbus fixed that problem at the ballot box and good for 'em.

     There's still lots of hand-wringing.  The problem now is that modern-day BB guns look a whole lot like the real thing -- especially after the choirboys go to painting the Federally-mandated orange tip black.

     Still, you're saying, kids, small city, BB guns, what's the big problem?

     Parents, as near as I can tell.  It boils down to one kid using a BB gun in a manner extremely contrary to the Four Rules -- pointing at cars, people, et stupid cetera -- and his buddy who'd amassed 8 to 12 of the more-realistic examples, at least two fathers who'd done apparently zero safety training of their little gems and now wanted the po-lice to come remove those Implements of Destruction, and this jewel of logic:  "...police are trained not to hesitate when confronted with a weapon."

     Somehow, I'm reminded of this. Which, fraught though it is, stops short of Dillinger-outside-the-Biograph levels of "not to hesitate."  Ahem.

     See, there's a way to avoid all this, and it is called the Four Rules.

1.  All guns are always loaded.
2.  Never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy.
3.  Keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on the target.
4.  Be sure of your target and what is beyond it.

     You'll notice that "don't point guns at cops" (or anyone else) is implied quite strongly in Rule 2.  If more fathers (and/or mothers) were teaching all four rules to their offspring -- and that it applies to bows & arrows, slingshots and BB guns as well as firearms -- there'd be a whole lot less "Please come to house and remove Junior's soft-as-airgun collection."

     But I suppose that would be way too much work.

     Hey, now that those baaaaad BB guns are gone, how long do you suppose it will take before Junior points a more or less gun-shaped stick/board/PVC pipe at passers-by?

Panic On The Campus!

"Man With A Gun" meets "Leaping To Conclusions."

     Quick legal review: In Indiana, it is generally lawful for you to possess a gun on a college campus...unless you are a student or employee, in which case you had better check your school's rules.   Things are a little more hazy if you're, say, a patient at one of the teaching hospitals on the IUPUI campus, most (if not all) of which are posted "no guns." OTOH, while it may be legal to open-carry a rifle on the IUPUI campus, or a handgun if you have a carry permit, it might not be wise.

     Okay, got that?

     How about having a rifle in the trunk of your car?  What happens if someone sees it and goes all weak in the knees?

     The campus gets "locked down," is what.  For four hours -- and nothing was found.  The gun -- unless it was a joke umbrella -- apparently was never even out of the trunk of the car it was seen in; the car itself seems to have eluded the police dragnet, probably without the driver ever knowing what was up.

     Since the IUPUI campus is on the large side, quite unfenced and includes a couple of hospitals, the "lockdown" was more of a suggestion and they're fixing that by promising to never use the term again.

     How they're going to fix people freaking out over a glimpse of something sort of rifle-ish in a trunk, well, that's not even addressed.

     (State universities used to have shooting ranges.  One of Tam's educated pals talks about shooting practice at the IU Bloomington indoor range, I think in the basement of the student union, not very many years ago.  Is there a range at IUPUI? It looks unlikely in light of this story, which extended to dozens to squad cars, police scuttling around with assault weapons patrol rifles, hovering helicopters and a nearby public school doing an actual doors-locked lockdown; we had everything but crying interviewees, over next-to-nothing.  O tempora!  O armes!)

Well, Which Is It? (Pugsly I of Venezuala, Overdue Death)

I'm kinda goin' with the version on the tab, especially at his terminal destination, though not so much for him.

     One down, more to go.

Pizza Robber Update

     It now appears the 15-year-old attempted robber of a pizza delivery driver was armed...with what reporters are calling "a BB gun."

     Doesn't matter.  Point a gun at someone -- even if it's really a carved bar of soap -- and use it as an inducement when demanding, "Hand over your valuables," and you're committing armed robbery.  Even with a BB gun or an inert replica.  After all, the person you're pointing it at has every reason to believe it's the real deal.


     In comments at the original story, someone who likes steak but would never, ever kill a cow was happy the delivery driver was unhurt but expressed amazement at "...how many people think that the death penalty is proper punishment for armed robbery."*

     Wrong.  Defending yourself is not a matter of "punishment."  You're not out to correct your assailant's behavior, you're wanting to stop it, as quickly and effectively as possible, with the least collateral damage.  Whatever does that is what you should do.

     The delivery driver did the right thing.  Not "to teach these thugs a lesson" (they'll either learn or they won't, and just what lesson they will take is hard to predict; maybe they'll decide it's better to bop their victims over the head and avoid direct confrontation).  Not "to make society safer."  Nope, he acted to defend his own life from a person who was threatening it, period.
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* What's with this notion of the death penalty as "punishment," anyway?  What, so they'll act nicer in the next world? That's not really our department.   If they are killed, they don't learn anything.  Some people are, after a fair trial, determined to be too dangerous to have around.  The State kills them or locks them up forever; I favor the latter, as it is usually cheaper and if it turns out the results at trial were in error, they can be (to some degree) corrected.  But that's unrelated to self-defense and conflating the two conflates rapid reaction to preserve life with the careful deliberations of judge and jury.

Paranoia In D.C.

     M-1s without bolts at the Inauguration?  This does not seem to have been the usual thing until the most recent ceremony.

      What, suddenly we're Egypt?

    You keep it classy, Mr. Obama -- or whoever it was that decided the armed forces of this country had better not be trusted with intact ceremonial rifles around the President.

     I keep invoking Richard M. Nixon -- another President who neither liked nor much trusted the American people (and whose thoughts on private ownership of firearms* ran parallel those of the current Occupant of 1600 Penna.) -- but the level of paranoid distrust seen here makes Tricky Dick look like a babe in the woods, a piker with a clumsy PR team.
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* It's so cute that some antis assume that if a well-known Republican, like Presidents Nixon and Regan, can be shown to have said something favoring gun control at some point in their careers, Second Amendment supporters will somehow be converted or silenced by it.  Wrong; it doesn't work that way -- and what does it say about the people who think it will? 

Pilots!

     Don't diss 'em.  Just don't.

(More info)

What You Do Instead Of Something -- Chicago Edition

Chicago has a long-running gang violence problem, which Chicago politicians and other hacks persistently claim is a "gun problem."

     But they're gonna fix it now, you betcha, with a Twitter initiative: under the hashtag #WHATIFCHICAGO, they're asking for your snappy 140-character solution to the city's "gun problem."

     Hey, Chicago, you know what is the problem?  It's too damn hard for an honest person to legally lay hands on a gun.  Even if they do get through the maze, they still can't have it when they are most likely to need it.

     --And suggestions range from installing even more draconian restrictions with even heavier penalties -- because somehow, a guy who is willing to murder his fellow-humans is going to be worried by one more law or ten more possible years if he gets caught, or will register his guns if you tell him this time, you really, really mean it -- to one from a practical-looking woman who makes the point I opened with: WhatIfChicago stopped confusing the city's gang problem with a gun problem?

     A fraction of the city's population are wallowing and dieing in a world of hopeless violence, waging tiny wars over tiny bits of turf and drug deals that don't amount to a measurable percentage of the legal business conducted in the City Of Broad Shoulders -- and yet the mess affects everyone; you might not be the four-year-old hit by a stray shot, or even her uncle, but if you're living in or near Chicago, your life has been negatively affected by the gang crime problem there.

     And they're not going to fix it with tougher gun laws.  Even laws more than 140 characters long.  It ain't gonna even start to be fixed until gang members start looking at the honest citizens, worrying what they might do to maintain the peace.  Most people in Chicago are decent and at least middlin' honest; they shouldn't have to fear gang members.

 

     I don't Twitter.  If you do, maybe you could help 'em out.

 

     (Why's this any business of mine?  Ahem: "Guns bought legally in Indiana guns passed on illegally in Chicago. #WhatIfChicago pressured #Indiana to help?"  --Yeah, we'll help: adopt Indiana's gun laws.  You'll be safer.)