Worked another long day yesterday, though not quite as lookit-the-horse long as the day before, and at the end of it had several small, distracting tasks to get out of the way. Very distracting tasks, it would seem: I packed up the scooter, buzzed home, popped open the garage door, unpacked, and had made it as far as the (well-fenced) back yard when I went looking for my house keys.
404: keys not found.
Not to worry, purse has many compartments, search, search... Nada. Did I lock the garage...? Yep. Back door? Locked. Gate? Padlocked. Prisoner Of The Back Yard! ("You are Number Six") Oh, poo. Doorbell? No response. Aw, ratters.
Celphone, then, I'll just telephone. Tam's car was in the garage, after all, and so was her bicycle... Dialing. Ringing. Ringing, ringing. Distant door slam, then, "Hellllooh?"
"Tam? RX. Kinda, well, kinda locked in the back yard."
"Hmmm? I'll let you in."
I checked the garage, the various compartments of my scooter, the driveway, took my purse just about apart and came to the conclusion my keys were at work. Called down there, nobody'd seen 'em. (Hot-pink lanyard with a black bead in the form of a tiny skull, they're hard to overlook).
At this point, I'm fallin' asleep but fretful. Bribed Tam ("I'll buy Boogie Burgers!") to take me back to work, where a careful search turned up nothing, at which point I turned up at my locker, big bolt cutters in hand. It took five tries -- I would go and buy a decent padlock -- and when the door was opened, there, next to my coffee cup and spare quad-ruled steno pad, were my keys.
I know how I did it; I even know why. What I can't account for is why I never put a spare padlock key on another key ring, as is my usual rule for items I might lock keys in while away from home.
Oh, the excitement! --Still, those Boogie Burgers were good; I had a New York, New York (big wonderful hamburger with lettuce, purple onion, tomato and pastrami and Swiss!) with a vanilla malt while Tam enjoyed grilled Ahi Tuna. And the freshest fries on the planet, arriving almost too hot to eat.
1. I should not have to explain this.
2. No, bigger than that, even. Way bigger.
3. My fave!
4. Automobiles, for example.
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
9 months ago