Monday, May 06, 2013

Wait, What?

     It should come as no surprise that with the Indy 500 bearing down on us like a skunk trying to pass a bowling ball, Indianapolis is giving the city a good wash-down and sweeping-up;* but here's bad advice masquerading as good:

     "[...C]igarette butts [...] have become a real problem, especially with the city-wide smoking ban. Those butts end up on the sidewalks and streets. The idea is to also encourage everyone to use trash cans and keep downtown clean."

     The scene: Downtown Indianapolis, May 2013, as Mrs. Racefan and little Tammy Racefan, age 7, exit their hotel:
     "Gee, Ma, it's sure a nice, clean soul-searing Midwestern wasteland, but why are all the trash cans on fire?"
     "Shaddup. I'll tell you when we're safely back on Lon Giland!"

     The public trash can: not an ashtray.  Neither's the gutter, but if those are your only choices....  Anti-smoking laws: about as effective as drug laws and about as free from unwanted side-effects.
* And if you think this year's something, wait 'til 2014! April ends with the NRA convention; May opens with the Mini-Marathon, followed by race prep, followed by the Indy 500 race, followed by the Indy 1500 gun show.


pdb said...

like a skunk trying to pass a bowling ball,


Roberta X said...

Puns on both "bearing down" and "pass."

Bubblehead Les. said...

Just giving you guys a Heads Up. I'm hoping to make the NRA Con and Fun Show next year, and I'll probably be Smoking.

So if you could round up some Anti-Gunners, I'd be more than happy to put my Used Cigarette Butts into their Pie Holes.

That might shut them up for a minute or two.

BGMiller said...

At a previous job some genius bought a plastic butt can to put in the smoker's area. Would have been okay I guess if they'd bothered to keep a bit of water in it like the warning stamped on the side suggests.

It tended to smoulder fairly regularly and no one seemed able to take two seconds to dump a bottle of water in the thing. "Not my job," was heard all too frequently.

Plastic butt can went away after a passing motorist called the fire department one day. FD rolled up to a flaming puddle of goo with a bunch of filters stuck in it.

They were not amused.

There were meetings.

New butt can was a length of metal pipe welded to a plate of steel.


Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

I suspect what you've got here is a very-poorly worded piece of verbal "jourNOlism" that was intended to make two separate points but managed to make them appear to be the same point. Viz., it sounds like he meant to say "1) put yer butts in the butt cans, and 2) put yer trash in the trash cans."

I'm guessing that if you had been listening to this on TV, it would have made better sense. I've noticed for a long time that TV and radio stations don't clean up their correspondents' spoken English to make it read better as text on the web. That's probably because they don't actually have anyone proofreading scripts anymore.

Drang said...

So... bids open yet on couch space for next April?
The Blogger Brunch to end all Blogger Brunches!

chidimma said...

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Roberta X said...

Riiiiiight, Chidimma....

Drang: Roseholme cottage is small. With one (1) bathroom.

Robert Fowler said...

Bubblehead Les. said...
So if you could round up some Anti-Gunners, I'd be more than happy to put my Used Cigarette Butts into their Pie Holes.

I'm hoping to make the NRA show next year.
Sounds like we will need to meet up during the show. I love to torment me some gun haters. wnyton seem

Drang said...

I spent 20 years in the Army. I'll make do. I can even clean up after myself. :-)

Old NFO said...

Yep, we need to start planning NOW! And "I" clean up after myself too...

Roberta X said...

I can see this is going to be a problem.

No. N-O. Two cats, no cat-excluding anteroom, tiny house crowded with irreplaceable things; I'm locking the place up for the duration.