Oh, "Senior Chamber." Oh, "world's most deliberative body!" --If you needed more evidence that government is run by the same cadre of mutual knob-polishers that made student government an exercise in futility, passing resolutions in honor of Homecoming pep rallies while the cafeteria served parboiled toads and half-deranged teachers put students through twisted personal hells, look no further than S.Res.475 - A resolution recognizing the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 Mile Race.
The ol' 500-mile race track has been privately owned since Day One and it still is, right down to a yellow-shirted private army of traffic cops and sidewalk superintendents (backed up by genuine po-lice with guns and arrest powers when necessary -- but the Yellowshirts work en masse and a wise denizen of the track will refrain from incurring their ire). The 500 needs Senate recognition like they need two more wheels on the cars.
The positive side is that every second the Senate spends -- and I'll be back to that word in a moment, "spends" -- on frivolity of this sort, National Gardenia-Scent Aftershave Day, Hug A Scorpion Day, whatever, is one less second spent misappropriating funds and sodomizing pages. If, like me, you figure the fed.gov has all the laws they could possibly need for the next hundred years or more, such wheel-spinners do keep the empty suits from making it more illegal to serve guests milk from your own cow or making lists of approved pronouns (better write your Senator now, you frelks and throons!).
On the other hand, they've got the lights on and the air-conditioning running, coffeemakers gurgling and the vast presses of the Federal Register humming, world-famous Senatorial bean soup* glooping gently in the stewpots and filling every task, even the ones usually automated elsewhere, well-paid workers, hardworking (or heavy-sleeping, but I didn't pay for a first-class flight of fancy ticket just to judge some low-level functionary) and ready to fulfill just about every whim...of the people in the big, fancy room, orating grandiloquently on the anniversary of an automobile race a third of a continent away: they're spending my tax money at a nearly moonshot rate to perform self-important nonsense.
"Most deliberative body?" Fat lot of good that does, if they mostly deliberate bulldoodle. Send 'em home, turn out the lights, set the cooling to the bare minimum needed to keep the place from growing mold and pare the staff down likewise. The Senators can set up a party line or a BBS if they want to impress one another.
If I was setting up a "deliberative body," I'd have 'em work standing up, outdoors, skyclad. They wouldn't muck around. Especially when the weather was bad.
Gah. If you didn't have coulrophobia, a close look at the United States Congress could give you a bad case of the stuff.
* Coals to Newcastle, beans to the legislatively flatulent. And nary a block of government cheese in sight!
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
8 months ago