(It's not a real distress call unless you say it three times. Still Felony Stupid over the radio, though.)
I'm looking at this election, which appears to be boiling itself down to Senator Clinton vs. Mr. Trump, and damned if I don't wonder if we should send up flares and start screamin' for help in French, which is what "Mayday!" really is.
No, it's not the prospect of The Donald or Miz Hillary per se that frets me; we've had worse.
It's the ignorance of the electorate, abetted by grinning, vapid, cocksure jackanapes of whatever remains of the press. "Clinton will take away our guns!" "Trump will expel all the Muslims!" Bull -- pardon my French yet again -- crap.
Presidents don't have that power. Congress kind of does; anyway, that's where the attempt will be made. And the balance of power in the Senate (you would not know this from The News) is kind of precarious this go-round. The House, not so much. Hey, does anyone know which chamber it is that confirms Supreme Court Justices? (Presidents nominate -- and I'd like better nominees -- but the Senate says yea or nay). And who remembers how a bill becomes law?
You see this same thing at the state level. There are yard signs all over Indy bearing versions of "PENCE MUST GO," and that's about Indiana's "Restoration of Religious Freedom Act." Love it or hate it, Governor Mike Pence only cheerleadered for it and failed to veto it -- that baby was bred and raised in the State Legislature. That's where the blame or praise should be directed. Which is not happening.
The older I get, the more I suspect the real winner of WWII was Fuhrerprinzip. Oh, the Allies stomped the Fascists, but their damnable notions have got the last laugh (aided in no small measure by the Great -- for which read "autocratic" -- Leaders of the Allied side). Voters think when they pick a Chief Executive, he or she will rule by decree; or they fear if the Other Party's creature wins, she or he will rule likewise. That ain't their job! But when we keep treating them as if it was, that's what we're going to get, by and by.
Dammit, this is how you get Caesars. Do you want a Caesar?
Don't answer. History's gonna do that for you. I don't think it will be pretty.
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
8 months ago