Friday, March 09, 2018

There's Not Sleeping Well, and Then

     Then there's being really bad at sleeping.  I have been sleeping poorly for the past week or more, insomnia, waking for no reason, backaches, difficulty getting up in the morning and, yes, nodding off in the afternoon.

     Last night, after getting up due to hydraulic pressure, waking up when cats were spatting, evicting a cat that was trying to bite my Kindle and succession of episodes of wondering what the weather was and falling asleep before the screen loaded, I capped it with an episode of sleep paralysis.

     I used to suffer sleep paralysis when I was growing up and in early adulthood, and found them utterly terrifying.  I'd be awake but trapped in my own body, unable to move, unable to even open my eyes and sure of a looming doom.  I was in danger!  Or so I thought.  My heart would beat faster and faster as I struggled to regain control and fear fed fear.  I'd either finally get my eyes open to find nothing out of the ordinary or fade back into sleep, still struggling to move.  I had no idea what it was about and I was darned well not going to tell anyone about such a crazy-sounding experience.  It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I plugged the symptoms into a search engine and discovered that it wasn't uncommon and wasn't life-threatening in and of itself.  Armed with that knowledge, I was able to shrug off such episodes, which became more and more rare.

     But last night, after all the other fuss and bother, I thought I heard a cat throwing up.  Great, after everything else, I was going to have to clean that up!  I tried to open my eyes and roll over--  Nothing.  Couldn't move.  Could not move!  I wasn't very awake.  I fought and fought and started to panic.  After what seemed like hours, I got my eyes up, drew a shuddering breathe, and said, "Help," in a voice barely above a whisper. 

     Never did find the cat-hork.  It might have been a dream.  When the alarm went off forty-five minutes later, I shut it off and just laid there while the TV talked to itself.  I didn't get up until I heard Tam feeding the cats.  That's usually my job but they must have pestered her after giving up on me.


rickn8or said...

Perfectly understandable; things have been pretty stressful for you recently. BTDT myself. It gets better.

Paul said...

Sleep Paralysis. Now I have a name for it. Once I quit sleeping my my belly I have not had an episode. used to scare the crap out of me.

I would hazard with your mom dieing and the dynamic with your siblings changing I would not be surprised sleeping is difficult.

Hope it clears up soon.

Anonymous said...

I've had the same paralysis once or twice. Couldn't move; couldn't speak. All I can remember thinking at the time is if I could just get someone to give me a nudge, I'd be OK - but I couldn't express that need. Don't recall what got me moving again.

Caused by excessive stress, maybe?

The wound heals eventually - and one learns to live with the scar.

Antibubba said...

Hmm, I thought a cat horking in the dark was pretty much an antidote to any sleeping situation!