Tuesday, January 08, 2019

TV Keeps Running Lawyer Ads And Funeral Home Ads Back To Back

     "Are you dead, or do you know someone who is?  Are you pestered by annoying relatives in the Afterlife?  Stuck in Purgatory?  Were you sent to a worse Hell than you feel you deserved?  Yama and Mictēcacihuātl may be able to help!

     "Our team of highly-trained intercessors, mediators and death-cult priests go to work on your case at once.

     "If you've been unjustly zombified or fatally exposed to vampirism against your will, there is a legal remedy!  Concerned your heart may outweigh a feather?  Worried it might become Ammit-chow? We know the right spells to prevent that!  And remember, there's never any fee (other than a small portion of your soul.).

     "If you need help after death, remember the firm of Yama and Mictēcacihuātl, leading you through the Afterworld!"


Merle said...

HMMM, some ads to look forward to!!! :)

Joseph said...

Cf. "Will You Wait?" by Alfred Bester

Ritchie said...

I keep getting mail ads for hearing aids and cremation. And to buy my humble cell at Condo Paradise as is. Firstly, don't rush me. There is a remote possibility that I may break out in small arms fire. Remote, but non-zero. Nextly, I invite all y'all to duke it out behind the mailbox kiosk while I live stream the festivities to some anitsocial media.