Saturday Morning Omelet

     With street-sweepers howling in the distance ("Why do I keep hearing sirens, faintly and far away?"*), a garden-style omelet was just the thing this morning:

     Two eggs, crushed tortilla chips, water, dehydrated minced onion, Italian seasoning, parsley, black pepper, and that's the batter; add everything but the eggs, let it sit several minutes, then come back and beat the eggs into it, way more than you think is necessary.

     Three large green olives, sliced; a little purple pickled cauliflower, likewise.  Some cheese of choice -- I used the aromatic three-cheese mixture we put on marinara sauce.  Set aside. 

     A handful of small carrots, sliced thin (a little more than a heaping tablespoonful); a small dark-red sweet pepper, diced small; half a large mild Jalapeno pepper (plus/minus to taste), likewise.  Saute in a non-stick ten-inch skillet† with a little butter and set aside.

     Now pour the batter into the skillet, lower the heat, set it a little off-center and let it cook until it starts to dry around the edges, especially the part that is more nearly over the fire.  Once it reaces that point, you can center it up and slowly add the vegetables and cheese on the half that was nearly off the fire, alternated between the cooked and uncooked ingredients.

     By the time you have all that added, the omelet may be ready to fold.  Test by slipping a thin, flexible spatula‡ under the unladen half and seeing if it will lift. If it will lift, just fold that half up and over, and carefully smooth it down.  You can usually slide the folded omelet back from the edge after it sticks togther, but it may require holding for a little while first.

     After that, cook until done, rolling from side to side in much the same manner as the initial flip.  Don't get fancy!  That's one of the ways things go wrong.  To judge done-ness, you want the outside to darken a little and be dry, but not too dark or leathery.  Inside should be cooked through  Can't tell?  Take the spatula and cut it into two quarter-circles; that will give you a look through the cross-section and it's an attractive way to serve it.

     Mine was delicious -- heat from the Jalapeno (but not too much), salt from the olives, flavor from all the ingredients.  Didn't need a thing added.
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* This would be the kind with big brushes and a giant vacuum cleaner, not the kind with shotgun shells and a $200 transfer tax.  We're within easy earshot of a city storm-warning siren, so I was pretty sure that wasn't it.

† A little smaller or larger is fine, but mind the batter isn't spread too thin.  Extremely well-seasoned cast iron will do -- but be sure!  You'll also want to clean it promptly.

‡ Spatulas are to the kitchen what clamps are to woodworking: it's nearly impossible to have too many.  Get them in as many different styles as appeal to you. My go-tos are thin plastic and metal ones for general flipping of things, heaver slotted ones for burgers and salmon patties, and a big, semicircular type that will fold an entire 12" omelet once you lift the edge with a thin one.  Several sizes of the soft-plastic ones are handy for sauteing, stirring and applying -- I was just about fully-grown before I ever saw an icing knife.