Aging is a torturer. We don't pay a lot of attention until it comes for us; its victims are just part of the scenery, seen but not noticed, grandparents, bosses, aunts, uncles, parents, classmates and then surprise, oh, surprise! It comes for us.
At first, it only takes a little at a time, the keen edge from eyesight, the ability to pick out voices in a crowd; reading vision falters and we pick up reading glasses or add bifocals with a nervous laugh.
Then it comes with back pain, teeth that fail, broken bones that heal but are never quite right. Hair goes to silver -- or goes away, at least on your head; elsewhere it sprouts in new and unwanted places.
The torturer's been after my hands for awhile now. Before the pandemic, the bottom knuckle of the, er, "social signalling" finger* of my left hand swelled up, hurt, turned hot and got glitchy. The pain and heat faded; it's working smoothly enough. But the swelling remains. My right thumb has problems, a tendon issue called "trigger finger" that adds pain and a hitch in motion. Twice it's acted up, twice a shot has freed it up. The third time will require surgery. Now the pinky finger of my right hand is twisting; I wake up with it curled tight and it opens with a painful pop, a little less flexible.
Numb toes, sore knees, uncertain balance. The torturer may disrupt our digestion, afflict us with tinnitus, take our memory. Piece after piece after piece.
I have to admit, I'm scared.
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* Sometimes known as the "driving finger." You need your right hand to work the horn and steer, after all.
Update
4 days ago
12 comments:
Oh, Roberta, how painful and how worrying. I am so sorry (especially since you may have a hitch in your social signaling; )
I feel for you. I've spent the last month recovering from a sciatic nerve issue. It's been frustrating, but at least I can climb ladders again. Hope you get some relief.
I hear you. Won't bore you with a list of my issues (a true sign of getting old is when a majority of your conversations with friends consists of comparing ailments).
Here's wishing your collection gets better, or at least becomes more bearable.
Getting old ain't fer sissies.
I understand that it beats the alternative though.
Painful, but it happens. Seems to be plain arthritis and not the thing where the tendon gets all thick and lumpy, so I am counting it as part of the price of working with my hands rather than a worry.
I'm at that point where I know this is something I have to come to terms with and manage, but I'm complaining instead. ;)
I hear your complaints but offer no sympathy. Life can get lousy. The best thing is, while you're still able, is to sit back doing absolutely nothing. There's no pain then and you can enjoy perfect comfort. That's when you can compare to the painful times and enjoy life.
I tell my younger friends that the body has a long memory, and holds grudges. It will absolutely pay us back for all the crap we did to it while we were younger.
The fun part for me is that if I eat a high-carbo dessert (and aren't they all? at least the good ones), my arthritis and asthma really get cranking the next day. So... pay the dragon by skipping dessert now, and maybe have it leave me alone tomorrow? Usually it works, but sometimes the dragon ignores my best efforts to placate.
Some days though, ibuprofen is my only true friend.
My wife uses a tennis ball to keep her fingers from locking up. She squeezes it for about 5 or 10 minutes a day. I don't know if this will help but you can try.
Lin
And isn't it great when your different ailments treatments make something else worse? I can't take ibuprofen for my arthritis because it aggravates my tinnitus.
At least your mind is intact.
Yup. Even if I’m just as active this year as I was last year, I’ll be weaker. That’s just reality.
It makes me think that some of the optimism of youth is being on the uphill side of that curve. Every year you’re stronger than you were the previous year, and that’s all you’ve ever known.
Going through similar things right now. It sucks a lot. I'm probably exceeding the RDA of ibu, but not much else helps. Sleep has even become more precious than it was, and that's saying something. Courage to us all.
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