Federal investigators have revealed that Congressman George Santos is not even a real grifter. "George Santos" is actually Lena Jensen, a thirty-year-old graduate student from Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, working on a doctoral thesis about the ease of acquiring dark money in U.S. elections, even for candidates with a questionable background.
"It was never supposed to go this far," Jensen said, "But now that I'm in office, I feel obligated to serve George's constituents."
[/SATIRE]
Update
4 days ago
4 comments:
Any thoughts from Rocky and/or Bullwinkle?
If Lena is from Frostbite Falls, surely she is pursuing her doctorate at Wossamatta U.? I hope she knows Moose and Squirrel. :)
Hmmmm. Does "Lena" have an accent? I'll bet if you dig deep enough you'll find her name is actually Natasha!
It's a sad commentary that such has to be labeled as satire.
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