UPS supposedly tried to deliver my new computer yesterday, signature-required for some idiotic reason (it's a hundred-dollar refurb job; they've dumped plenty of boxes worth way more on the porch without so much as honking the truck's horn.) Tam was home and in the office (just off the porch) all afternoon, so as near as we can tell, the driver parked a half block away, put on toe shoes, tiptoed down the walk, up the steps, and left a sticker on the front door as gently as a butterfly lands on a tiny violet, then turned and tiptoed away, pushing his truck a half-block further away before starting it and driving off, grinning and chortling like a Gibraltar ape at his great cleverness.
Why? I don't know why. Perhaps he has been driven mad by the demands of his trade, the constant push for greater speed and volume. They get dressed-down if they're seen so much as sauntering instead of scurrying or trotting. But compassion doesn't make me any less disappointed or Tam any less annoyed.
She is hoping to go pick it up for me today. We'll see how that goes.
Edited to add: the autocorrection feature in this version of Exploder is driving me as mad as the hypothetical UPS driver. It's got about a thousand-word vocabulary and "sauntering" ain't on the list.
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
1 year ago