"Thank you for calling. Your message is important to us. Please wait patently to be ignored."
"Hello. Please leave a sausage after the drone."
"Hello. This is not the number you were calling. Please do not try again."
(Sound of distant explosions, fully-automatic weapon fire, shrieks.) "Firebase One. We are falling back. I repeat, we are falling back." (Loud explosion. Call terminates.)
"Mommy? Mommy?"
Update
4 days ago
8 comments:
I had a 35 year career in telecomunications. Back when I still had a landline, I had recorded a phone company "number not in service" recording for my number from another area code, and made it my greeting. Friends and family knew to wait until after it repeated for the beep to leave their message. There were multiple troubles put in for my phone line by callers. Service techs coming to my house were not amused.
I have not yet had the guts to do this, but, to Spike Jones's "Leave the dishes in the sink, Ma",
Leave a message at the beep.
Beep!
Leave a message at the beep.
Don't hang up, don't be a creep,
Leave a message at the beep.
Wait for the beep!
I know, not as as much street cred' as if it actually was an outgoing message.
Glypto Dropem
I hereby declare you my Hero of Today!
“Oh, hey, thank god you called. I’ve got the wood chipper here and the fifty gallon drum full of lye, but nobody left any gas for the chipper. Who am I supposed to call for that?”
I heard if you start your answering machine message with the ascending 'number not in service' tones autodial systems were supposed to delete the number from the database automatically..
I've never tried it, but the name in the phonebook for my landline is for a phantom person, if I see mail to them or get a call for that name I know it is a sales call. This isn't the same as an unlisted number, I don't pay extra to have the display name different from the billing name.
"If you don't know my middle name, go away." I have none.
Somehow the movie "Fargo" just came to mind. Nice one, Tam!
"All of our representatives are currently assisting other customers. Your call is very important to us. Please remain on the line until your call is no longer important to you."
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