Acute Tactics

     Yesterday, I noticed the little box-of-stuff-a-month subscription I have to a service that keeps nudging anyone who signs up to write more had sent a deck of cards with various starting points for writing.

      This type of thing owes a debt to Brian Eno's "Oblique Strategies," a collection of cards with highly lateral notions, for use by anyone who gets stuck while doing a creative endeavor.  You grab one at random and give it a try.  It's not a bad method; even when the card suggestion is no help, it provides a short break that can help you get out of a rut.

     Imitations are not always up to the level of the original and the whole thing is just asking to be parodied.  And so, I give you my contribution to the field:

Acute Tactics

Write down a bunch of random stuff on cards. Have copies printed up and sell them for inflated prices.
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Vagueness will make you sound deep. Connecting unrelated things will appear insightful.
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Never admit this is something you dreamed up to pass time while waiting for the bus.
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Browbeat all of your creative friends to endorse this as a remarkable idea. Get them so involved that they'll lean on their friends to say similar things, too.
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Never forget that nearly all who strive, fail. The quicker you fleece them, the sooner they'll get back to their useful and dull little jobs.  If you don't, someone else will!
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Philosophy is for suckers.  Money talks.
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Art is whatever the people who buy art will pay you for.
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Failure is always an option, but it's best if the other guy fails.
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"Intellectual property" is the stuff others only thought they owned.
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There are only two plots, but every check is unique, different and wonderful
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Think of a number, any number. Got it? Hold it firmly in your mind. You're wrong.
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The expression on people's faces when they have just had a great insight is exactly the same as the expression they make when they suddenly have to crap.  This is not a coincidence.
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The bigger they are, the more easily they can crush you.   Practice flattery and plan your escape routes in advance.
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Always be humble. You have to give the rubes something for their money and if you're modest about it, they can't claim they were cheated.