Sunday, February 26, 2012

English As She Is Spoke -- And Heard

So, Saturday, Tam and I went to an amateur radio swapmeet and a gun store (I'd say which one, but they've got a .32-20 Colt I'm saving up for).

I drove.

As happens, I am not the smoothest of drivers; I tend to stepwise corrections and while they're not reckless, it can be a little abrupt. Our route took us through a very flat and very square turn (in the middle of nowhere -- the Indy area has a few of these, where road planners seem to have come back from lunch thinking, "aw, heck, wrong way!" and rather than erase and start over, just sketched in a 90) and Tam made some comment as I shed speed and took the turn.

When I replied...well, I know what I said but what she heard was, "Hey, it's digital and the anchorman isn't funny."

She gave me a very odd look again and said no more until the next stoplight. Then she repeated it in a questioning tone and it was my turn to do a you've-finally-skitzed-out double-take. Thought it over and started to giggle. Thought about it more and began to guffaw.

Tam gave me one of those "Okay, what..?" looks and I managed to choke out, "No, 'It's digital,'" wiggling the fingers of my steering-wheel hand, "'and the increment isn't fine.'"

English, the language of mutually-incomprehensible mumbling.


Bob said...

One time I was riding to the beach with a former GF, and we passed a rural produce stand. Looking at one of the signs, she announced, "Bull penis. I love bull penis."

I goggled at her for a second, and then asked incredulously, "Did you just say you love bull penis?

She started laughing, and replied, "No, I said boiled peanuts. She continued to laugh and I joined in, to the point where pedestrians were beginning to point at us. Now, whenever I see a "boiled peanuts" sign, I always point and say bull penis!

Tam said...


That's close to the same reaction I have every time I see a "Shaved Ice" sign. :D

Bob said...

@Tam: Later that morning we passed a tavern called the Boar's Breath Inn, and when I said the name out loud my ex-GF thought I said Whore's Breath Inn.

And apparently the night before I'd spoken in my sleep, saying "Go and chop his dick off." No, I don't remember what I had to eat the night previous to it.

Tennessee Budd said...

I'm glad I read both y'all's blogs. In this instance, both accounts are pretty much the same. Sometimes your individual & somewhat different takes on things lead me to guffaw. Or would, were I the guffawing sort.