Simplest one in the book: Felon in possession. Decides to take his semi-auto AK-47 for a walk at 0230. As in "a.m." Neighbors call police (but think it's a shotgun -- and so very not rabbit season in town, or duck season either). Of course, upon sight of the po-po, he drops it and runs.... Yes, he's in the jailhouse now.
No word if he was sporting the COPS-mandated lack of shoes and shirt and it has been chilly of nights, but one can hope.
(Bonus Parenting Tip: Your children steal from you? Shame them. ...Worth a try, I guess, though I'm not sure they're showing much remorse.)
A VINTAGE-SUITABLE CALENDAR
3 weeks ago