Monday, June 24, 2013

Broken News: Marijuana Bomb At Federal Courthouse In Indianapolis

     You're safe now.  The police blowed it up real good a little before 5:00 this morning: a "suspicious backpack" found outside the Federal courthouse.

     Contents, "fireworks and marijuana."  The alert news-consumer will note the absence of any sort of container, like, say, a jam tin or pressure-cooker and, at least per the reports, no shrapnel, either.

     A security guard found the backpack about a quarter 'til three this morning.  In a possibly unrelated incident, a small group of teenagers were seen in the immediate area not long before it showed up.  (Teenagers: Threat Or Menace?)

     IMPD Bomb Squad and the Feds are still wrapping up their investigation at this writing, and one might speculate they're feeling like a large breakfast would be really groovy.  Or even just a bag of chips. 

     See, kids?  Drugs are bad (mmm-kay?) and fireworks are dangerous: they'll make the police blow up your backpack!

     Scoring on this one:
     Act of terrorism: Fail.
     Act of political theater: Fail.
     (Possible) act of teenage forgetfulness with a bag of Illegal: Fail.

     Update: And, later on and up the road at the Minton-Capeheart Federal Metaphor, more fireworks, this time as a "mysterious device" that showed up in a small-items bowl at an X-ray station.  They blew it up, too.  My first thought, at the initial report that "...a woman was being held in connection with the device," was to wonder if Tam had anything to do with it.


Turk Turon said...

Lesson learned. Add a piece of green cannon fuse to your stash. If siezed by the police, they will blow it up, thus destroying the evidence.

Roberta X said...

Yes, but isn't it sort of a problem if it ends up in the pipe or handroll?

Ah, well, self-limiting....

Shermlock Shomes said...

Damn. That's where I left my lunch sack.

Anonymous said...

Dude, where is my backpack?

It's your backpack Dude?

Dude, it has my stash and fireworks!

Dude, you took it off when we took a leak.

Where was that Dude? I was so wasted?

Dude it was by some big building downtown. I was wasted too.

Bummer Dude. Bummer.


JohninMd.(too late?!??) said...

IMPD BOMB SQUAD: _IMP_loading _D_ope since 1967......€;^p}

Anonymous said...

And since that turned out so well, they blew up the little container you put your change in when you go through the metal detector. They must be working on next years budget for the bomb squad.


Anonymous said...

"Contents, "fireworks and marijuana."

And then a good day out was ruined. Let this be a lesson.

Mike James

Ritchie said...

Possibly the bomb squid's stock of bangstuff is nearing expiration? How do you dispose of expired bangstuff? I'm guessing get some new stuff to use to blow it up.

markm said...

I can just see the conniptions next week when they realize that there are fireworks ALL OVER TOWN.

And what kind of idiot carries fireworks into a courthouse and puts them in the little keys and change bowl at security?