Monday, December 05, 2016

From A Cancelled Christmas Special

     Apparently, this song was the breaking point, and National Geographic and The Hallmark Channel have dropped their plans for the "Olduvai Gorge Christmas Special."

     Still, I thought it was cute:

I want an australopithecus for Christmas
No other fossil hominid will do
No ancient frog
No thunder lizard toy
I want a australopithecus to play with and enjoy

I want an australopithecus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use
A dirty chimney flue
Dig him up under the floor
That's the easy thing to do
I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
A fossil homind is standing there
I want an australopithecus for Christmas
No other kind of hominid will do
No Neandertals
No Homo Habilisuses
I only like australopithecuses
And australopithecuses like me too.


New Jovian Thunderbolt said...


Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

That's just classic.

You've clearly missed your calling.

Countglockula said...

But what about us Neandertals?


Windy Wilson said...

Mom says an Austro would eat me up for sure but teacher says they were vegetarians

Ed said...

That vegetarian thing is myth. If Australopithecus' diet was anything like a chimpanzee's diet, they would be omnivores. Groups of chimpanzees will cooperatively hunt and kill animals.

Old NFO said...

LOL, good one! :-)

Tam said...


"That vegetarian thing is myth."

Depends on the australopithecine in question. The Paranthropus variety of robust Australopithecines are believed to have been herbivorous.

Roberta X said...

Raz, the Neandertal, like the cheese, stands alone. No definitive word as to why.

diesel smoke said...

That was stuck in the brain bucket all day. Thanks a lot. Yes it is still there

Anonymous said...

Please tell Tam that the most common malfunction is the "Failure to have any kind of gun whatsoever when you really really need one" malfunction. Especially in other parts of the world.

Tom McCord

Ed said...


“The Paranthropus variety of robust Australopithecines are believed to have been herbivorous.”

Except when they were not, depending on genus.

Tam said...


Please tell Tom McCord my Cherokee name. Also, make sure he knows it's pronounced "PED-ǝnt-rē".


Roberta X said...

Tom, a good many people tell me that they have guns without a malfunction, and I'm obliged to take them at their word. But a malfunction without a gun? Very Zen.

Windy Wilson said...

I just said that because that's a verse from the original song.😉