Story Problem

      Amazon has generally got the delivery thing all worked out.  The Sears & Roebuck of our age, that funny online bookseller has grown up to sell everything from questionable "sales partner" imports to fine goods.

      All I wanted was paper toweling.  The super-duper giant economy size had a considerably lower per-sheet price than the six- or four-roll pack, so I got the big one.  The total was high enough that they offered free overnight delivery, so I took it; we had two rolls left in the cabinet, but better safe than sorry.

      Yes, Amazon knows delivery.  They rarely screw up.  But when they do....

      I'm home, isolating with COVID.  It's the latest-greatest version that starts with scratchy eyes and pretends to be a Spring allergy until you realize it isn't.  Tam already had it (a milder case, earlier onset, pretty typical of us and respiratory viruses) and is keeping her distance from people.  This morning, Amazon sent my paper toweling next door--

      To our neighbor, presently in a long and difficult respite from major health issues.  She's got about  the strength of a kitten.  Her part-time caregiver apparently hauled the box inside as she left for the day.

      Neighbor cannot carry the big box out the door, down the steps, across both lawns and up the steps to our porch.  I dare not expose her by going inside her house.  She can't even shove it out the door by herself, not and wrangle five cats at the same time.  Even Tam visiting is a significant risk for her.  It's like the puzzle with the farmer trying to cross cross a river in a tiny rowboat with a fox, a chicken and a bag of chicken feed, only with no solution. (What the dickens is the farmer doing with a live fox, anyway?)

      I called Amazon and after a frustrating online chat with a robot, got a human being.  I explained the problem, with only a short -- and genuine -- coughing fit.  She put me on hold, came back, and put me on hold even longer, returning to tell me in delightful subcontinental tones,* "I can place the order again."
      I was skeptical, "And I'll be charged again?"
      "No, nooo, there will be no further charge."
      "That'll work.  When will it arrive?"  I started coughing again.  Sheesh.
      "Are you all right?"
      Hack, cough, "Yes, just sick."
      "Please take care of yourself!  The replacement should be there Sunday."
      Conversation concluded with the usual calls-can-be-recorded ritual, her asking if the situation had been taken care of in a satisfactory manner and me being effusive in praise -- nobody told her she'd have to listen to me coughing off-mic when she clocked in today and being nice about it counts as above and beyond in my book.

      So, yeah, they do have that delivery thing worked out.  Even when they screw up.
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* For clarity, enunciation, being neither too fast or too slow, and for comprehension across multiple dialects, "Bombay Welsh" ranks very highly with me.  With Amazon, once you (finally) get through to a human being, you're usually dealing with someone highly motivated to resolve problems with the least amount of customer annoyance, and that's always a good thing.