Quick Takes

I was going to refrain from commenting on Chicago's (Chicago???) 26-foot tall Marilyn Monroe upskirt statue, which gives passers-by a whole new perspective on the iconic scene from The Seven-Year Itch; I was remarking to Tam that I "wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole" when it occurred to me that, of course, if you stood in the right place, you most certainly could.

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Not quite relatedly, when I own my very own planet, I'm gonna name it "DuLang." I'm going to name the biggest continent DuLang, too, and on a delightful bay on the coast of that continent, I'll establish the capital city, DuLang. In the bay will be a 400' statue of me (some decades ago), young and lovely, and it will be called She's So Fine (DuLang, DuLang, DuLang).

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The Army of ever-hungry North Korea has refused to even consider establishing a small corps of musicians playing traditional Western instruments; they singled out one in particular as being an egregious example of decadent reactionary capitalism, declaring the country had no use whatsoever for a fifin' Nork.

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And on the topic of food, breakfast here at Roseholme Cottage today was no joke: genuine Surry Sausage (well-smoked, though it wanted cooked) and fried free-range eggs. Yum! Easily the best smoked sausage I have had.

Grumpy

I'm 'stonishingly irritable this morning, in part 'cos I had very little sleep (OT vacation shift, which ran past midnight; we've only got n techs, to fill n-3 slots) and in part 'cos I had to drive two largeish unfamiliar vehicles on the freeway, in dark, in traffic, one of them with a degree of body roll you would not believe.

Since I'm a white-knuckle driver on the freeway in my own car and have terrible night vision.... Let's just say the muscles in my shoulders, upper back, lower back and points South are still painfully clenched and my upper back wasn't all that great to begin with. (Naturally, I once again missed the "free chair massages" at work Thursday -- if you don't respond to the e-mail for it in five minutes, you miss out. I'm going to have to find someone and start paying to have the knots unsnarled.)

Plus neither Tam nor I picked up any breakfast-type food yesterday. We talked about it but each thought the other had it on her list. I've got enough beans, rice, tofu, fresh tomatoes, herbs and spices to fake something I'd like but it's doubtful Tamara would.

Add in my normal headache and some unusual clumsiness with my web-browser (closed a tab I wanted to refresh, etc. etc.) and it's a heckuva a way to start a morning.

At least there's a lot to do today. Surely some of it will come out okay!

...Speaking of people having a bad day, "Is Obama The 2012 Underdog?" was one of my start-page headlines. Alas, he's still up against the always-attractive Unknown Republican. If the GOP had any known candidates as shiny, they might be in the catbird seat. As it is, None Of The Above looks to have a better chance the usual, were that vacancy an option. Hey, four extra years for the two parties to reassess their front-runner options (and maybe the other parties could, too), four years in which Congress, if they want a war, would actually have to declare it instead of passing the buck -- it might be worth a try.

National Moto+Cycle

(Cross-posted from Retrotechnologist)

After a thoroughly satisfactory breakfast at a local diner, Tam K and I set out to visit National Moto+Cycle, whose storefront may be found in the same 1920s building as Luna Music and Indie Bike (around the corner). They already had eye-candy waiting out front: It's even prettier up close, though the guys were quick to point out that this is a prototype, lacking the custom paint and trim the production models will have. (Notice the helmets in the window, of which I should have taken a closer photo).

Inside, Chief Designer Matty Bennett and his partner-in-vehicularity were waiting and filled with enthusiasm.

National's basic product is a bicycle, but one that hearkens back to the first two decades of the 20th Century, as the "safety bicycle" was at its peak and the first production motorized versions were appearing. But they use modern materials with far better strength-to-weight properties, to produce a bicycle of reasonable weight and retro looks. The race-style turned-down handlebars can be flipped, resulting in a classic recreational/practical bike, or replaced with even more upright "beach cruiser" style handlebars. The bike has a multi-speed kickback hub and optional disc brake system.

...Or you can add a motor! Matty describes it as "like an early production motorized cycle. They're not intended to go superfast," running at the same speeds as city traffic. He plans to add an electric version as well. (More info at this link). The internal-combustion version has a standard twist throttle, kill switch and hand brake.

Sidecars will be available for all models -- they'll be kept lightweight, in keeping with National's goal of attractive, retro, useful vehicles. As you can see, even the showroom is something of a design engineer's dream.

Both the name and the logo are not a new invention but the return of a very old Indianapolis automaker: between 1900 and 1924, the National Motor Vehicle Company built a successful line of internal-combustion and electric vehicles in their plant at 22nd and the Monon (rather a lot of photos here); the building still stands and is presently The Project School.

Matty himself is the eye and hand behind the look of a number of Broad Ripple institutions, not the least of which is Taste. Between that talent, his background in bicycling, enthusiasm for these bikes and the history of National, I think we're looking at a winner.

I've more photos, from National Moto+Cycle's secret basement proving grounds, but they must wait for another day.

Ask, Tell...Psych!

Or maybe it's a double-psych; the Federal appeals court that had repealed Don't Ask, Don't Tell got an emergency request from Mr. Obama's administration to put it back, and did -- but added the service can't do any investigation, penalties or discharges under the rule (why, yes, it's the Ninth Circus; why do you ask?).

I guess that means that while it is (again) not okay to be openly homosexual in the military, they can't do 'em any official harm; which sounds to me like a recipe for unofficial trouble.

Once again, the Feds have taken a situation that was going to be, at best, very uncomfortable no matter how it worked out, and found a whole new way to make it worse. Yeah, way to go.

New Content, Retro And Science-Adventurific

At I Work On A Starship, the plot thickens. Or bubbles, at least:

As I've said, Finley managed to deflect what looked to me like an outpouring of long-suppressed wrath from the hyperspace engineer and we parted from him on at least neutral terms. Once we were making our way back across the gravelled chaos of the "Cooperative," Finley started to chuckle.

I didn't think it was funny. "What got into him? It's just a telephone."

"It is for you. —There's a reason he's not working over at Tweed. Or anywhere else."

"Oh?"

"You ever notice how the best 'Drive people, the top navigators and automation designers, all tend to be a little different?"

I thought about it. Take Lupine Engineering: we're an assorted lot but pretty typical of the genus geek, it seemed to me: at turns hyperfocused and distractable, not always so great with the interpersonal stuff. Okay, not average, but who is?

Find out what happens next at IWOAS!

Elsewhere, at Retrotechnologist, I write about a remarkable vehicle company, making new-old motorized cycles of the most amazing sort. And they're right here in Broad Ripple.

Serving Up A Raw Deal

...With salt rubbed in it.

I usually decry government spending (not that it does any good) but sometimes the tab is inarguable. Of course, that's when governments dispute it.

Take IMPD Officer Jason Fishburn: three years ago, he was one of several policeman hunting a murderer. Officer Fishburn closed in and got shot in the head.

He didn't die; hung on through a year and a half of treatment, learned to deal with stroke-like paralysis and cognitive impairment and took an office job at the police academy. After struggling with that for a year and a half, he realized he simply wasn't up to it and applied for medical retirement.

So, a tale of courage and determination and pushing through has found one man's limits. IMPD's own retirement board took at look at the situation and recommended 90% pay, pretty typical for medical disability and, considering this is a guy who took a bullet through the brain hunting a serious criminal, a guy who will never again run, use his right arm or be the man he once was, it doesn't seem out of line.

...Except it did to the Public Employees Retirement Fund, where the reasoning seems to be that someone who lost over 30 percent function rates 69 percent retirement.

Needless to say, he's appealing the decision.

This Just In

North Dakota not actually a State.

Does this mean the feds have to give 'em back all their income tax?

I'm A Genius

You betcha! Did I not say, "they'll turn out the lights on some highly-visible widows-and-orphans stuff?" Here's the headline: "No Social Security checks? Is Obama bluffing?"

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Can we get the Emperor's horse in here as a Senator? Just for comic relief?

Ahhh, theatre!

New Old Bicycles From The Home Front

Last week, Tam and I encountered a Pashley bicycle, a classic British manufacturer continuing in the old style, with a wide range of recreational and industrial bicycles.

The United States is not without a long and proud bicycle tradition of our own and it turns out we, too have a delightful survivor: Worksman Cycles, around since 1898! I'm kind of partial to "The Dutchie," though what's tempting me most are their high-wheelers -- that's right, they don't just make safety bikes. If a pennyfarthing seems too high a bar to clear, have a look at their surreys and trikes, the latter in both "Family Chariot" and "Industrial" models. The basic bicycle price is quite reasonable, especially for a U.S.-made bike. It turns out you've probably seen their products; if not in a factory or warehouse, then at least when the Good Humor man pedaled by, in real life or in a movie or TV program!

About that "U.S.-made" thing: you'll find a sobering reflection about American manufacturing on their website, too. They're just about the last bicycle-maker still building them here.

(FTC, KMA: I received nothing from Worksman Cycles for writing this other than the same interesting web-browse anyone can have, free for taking the time).

Fail! (Plus Non-Failing Books And Geekery)

...So, I worked over two nights in a row 'cos of some really annoying stuff about which I have no intention of writing (it's dull, dull unless you're at the fulcrum). Fine, it happens. But I was going to go to Mom's to swap out a storm window for a screen in a door that faces the sunset. You can just about bake bread in the enclosed space!

Couldn't get through on the phone, went and messed with another project, looked up and... 10 p.m. :(


In other news, I seem to have a copy of Edison's Conquest Of Mars and a pair of Eric Frank Russell collections in the reading queue, right after a very interesting novel I'll be reviewing by and by. I also seem to have a late-1930s commercial ham radio transmitter which looks to have been much-modified in the '50s with an eye to reducing TV interference. --Have I mentioned how much more immune digital over-the-air TV s to that sort of thing? It is, which means I have an excellent chance of bringing the little transmitter back to more like when it was new. Look for updates about that at Retrotechnologist.

But the top of my list is calling Mom tomorrow morning and a visit to take care of that door ASAP.

I Know It Goes To 11

But does it ever go all the way to "OFF?" Even when I pull the plug on my TellyaVision and squalid-state Difference Engine, the politicians are still in there, ever so faint, making weird little pinging noises against the screen.

Yeah, it's the Federal Budget Debate, in which the latest move has both sides agreeing to separate the fight over the Feds raising their "debt ceiling" (this is like picking your own credit limit...at age 12) from addressing the insane spending that got 'em into into the mess in the first place.

Oh, that makes sense...if you're making up your own rules! Once again, if you or me or the General Emporium down the street ran our finances that way, it would be improvident at best and very probably criminal.

And the posturing punditry? All they do is smirk and smarm about which side is "winning." Stuff it, you little weasels: the bottom line is, we-the-people are losing, losing to a narrow, political-class culture so addicted to making free with other peoples money that passing up an increase in it is referred to as a "cut," taxpaying individuals are always going to lose. (Eventually, those who pay no taxes get their turn at losing, too, once the money runs out).

I probably shouldn't even look at television or news sites in the morning. This last bastion of The West still has a long way to fall but it is painful to realize how far it's already slipped.

The Great FedGov Budget Debacle Of _____

Aw, heck, pick a year, any year: the Feds have been circling the bowl of paper insolvency off and on for just about my entire life and to add injury to insult, it's unlikely that the Feds have had enough money to pay their debts at any time, if you suddenly called "olley-olley-oxen-free" and all parties had to settle up on the spot.

So when the President climbs up inside my TV and makes long faces about the debt -- and combative ones about takin' it to the brink -- or when his opponents dish up sanctimonious sound-bite snippets about how they would never, ever, ever raise taxes* -- all I can do is laugh, because whoever wins, we'll lose: you, me, the guy gliding by in the Hummer limo and the bum dozing in the bushes, we all lose.

They're gonna go back and forth however many rounds; they'll puff up and they may even "bring the Federal Government to a standstill," though not their paychecks, air-conditioning or in-house diner; none of the present 3.5 wars will stand down and you can depend on the FBI, DEA and bATFe will all be at the same old stand during the "standstill," still employing mother-shooters, rousting California cancer patients and sneaking guns across borders. (What I wanna know about the last-named Bureau is, do they smuggle smokes and booze, too?) Count on IRS still being in their counting-house, too; in short, none of FedGov functions that pick your pocket or break your leg (or the other guy's) will shut down; nope, they'll turn out the lights on some highly-visible widows-and-orphans stuff, then go on TV and sob about how their opposite number(s) in the Legislative or Executive branch just don't care about decent, hardworkin' 'Murricans and/or balancing the Federal budget.

Eventually, they'll "compromise:" make token cuts to a costly feelgood program like MediCare and raise taxes a bit; they'll each blame the other side for the bit that smells worse to their core, you and I will will get socked with the bill, and the Federal budget will go right on running a deficit.

If any individual or business tried to run with a negative balance all the time, it would be fraud. When the FedGov does it, after putting on a medicine show to sell us on their patent snake-oil, hiding the fact that it's only degrees of insolvency under discussion (as opposed to, you know, not spending more than they take in from us poor marks), why, it's got tradition and "the great workings of Our Gummiement" all over it, and we're supposed to obediently pick sides and spat with those who back the other team.

Bedammed if I will. The Emperor and all his court is naked -- and bankrupt. Shut 'er down, Mr. Obama, Mr. Boehner; sell off what you can and shut 'er down. We'll have to run on State governments while we figure out what to do next.

(Don't hold your breath waiting on that -- but don't get sucked into the budgetary pantomime, either. No matter what they do, you will end up worse off when it is resolved).
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*The call-and-response then has The Prez intoning that "the rich" should pay "their fair share," to which I have to point out that in terms of using Fed-provided and/or funded in whole or part from Washington City goods and services, is it the wealthy or the poor who make most use of 'em; and if it's the poor who use 'em most and the rich who use 'em least, what's "fair share" even mean in this context?