Shootin' Buddy and I often have telephone calls in the borderland between chaos and surrealism. I'm a mumbler and he's done so very much shooting that everyday sounds are a bit distant; I will answer the telephone by saying the first thing that pops into my head and he is only too happy to pick it up and run with it:
Shootin' Buddy: [Utters a tautology with which no right-minded person could possibly disagree.]
Roberta X: "Oh, nonsense!"
SB: (mock-stentorian) "'ODE TO NONSENSE?'"
RX: "No, it was 'Ode To A Grecian Urn.' The Greek doesn't earn much anymore but he still wants a whole lot of free stuff."
SB: "It's all your fault the Greeks are broke, you know."
RX: "What? 'The Woman Is Keepin' The Grecian Down?' Does that even make any sense?"
SB: "Oh, I could do a whole lot with that phra--" (abrupt change of tone) "You know how to make a noise like a dolphin? 'hunh-uh, hunh-uh, hunh-uh, hunh-uh...'"
RX: "I think we can loan you a ten-foot pole to not touch that with...."
SB: "Hey, is Tam about?"
...Ten-foot pole, six foot Pole, whatever....
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
2 months ago