...The Big Party contestants in the Indianapolis Mayoral race are now running negative ads criticizing their opponent for running negative ads! I can't wait for the next level: "OPPONENT is running ads questioning my ads that point out OPPONENT's ads offer only condemnation without solutions! What's OPPONENT trying to hide by asking what I'm concealing by addressing OPPONENT's negative advertising?"
This is the city's most expensive contest for the office in history and, barring a tragically fortuitous meteor shower, the two very dim lights held more-or-less aloft by incumbent Ballard and challenger Kennedy -- and the even dimmer one of minor-league outfielder Chris Bowen -- are all we've got to chose from. $DEITY help us, as we have most certainly not helped ourselves.
...H'mmm, "helping ourselves?" There's clue in that about why the battle to be the underpaid Mayor of a rustbelt city with an uncertain future is so hotly fought -- just ask ol' Dick Lugar: the, ahem, contacts one makes as Mayor can last a lifetime -- or at least as long as a sports arena. Further, a gracious person ought not say, and I shan't, either. Just remember, it's not a slice of the pie for you they're struggling over, no matter what they say.
H. L. Mencken said it best: "Every election is a sort of advance auction of stolen goods." It pains me to have to patronize fences.
Why is it always inevitable that no matter which one wins, the wrong lizard gets elected?
1. They call them "parties" but there's rarely ice cream or cake and the favors are neither reciprocal nor well-distributed. Hmpf.
2. Are we a biotech center? Are we a government town? Are we, truly, The Next Big Boom Town -- and why is it I find that term so disturbing? And is any of that really part of the Mayor's job? 'Cos we're still rich in potholes and poor in street signs and sidewalks.
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
9 months ago