Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A Open Letter To The Vice-President Of The United States Of America

Dear Joe Biden,

On the occasion of a State of the Union address by your boss -- yes, that skinny fellow in a suit in front of you, the one making a speech -- this country asks pretty much just one thing of you. Just one little thing:

For the love of Ghu, man, do not pick your nose, live, on international television! Please!
...Oh, too late.Okay, then please, please, please do not semi-secretly wipe your fingers on your copy of the President's spee-- Aw, gee. Ewwww.

Y'make me wanna claim to be Canadian when people ask where I'm from.

Sincerely,
Roberta X

Readers: Gosh, I miss the days when they'd tape his wrists to his thighs for public appearances. I would have been happy to present a bipartisan example, but Speaker Boehner, whatever other failings he may have, managed to keep his digits away from his olfactory orifice for this speech.

10 comments:

Divemedic said...

Please tell me that this is on Youtube. Please.

Robin said...

Dumbest VP we've ever had. Every day, Dan Quayle gets on his knees and thanks god for putting a VP in office dumber than he.

rickn8or said...

Bless you, Roberta, for having the courage to watch the SOTU so the rest of us don't have to.

Nathan said...

Quayle wasn't actually stupid, the press were on a mission to make him look that way.

Biden is actually stupid, and the press are on a mission to cover that up.

I guess they failed the latter last night.

LabRat said...

The press was definitely unfair to Quayle at times (as they are to most politicians that have a double talent for stiffness and gaffes), but having lived with the man in my general neighborhood growing up after he retired there and getting his bush-league politiciking on a local level, my impression was that they had been working with a genuine natural talent.

Tam said...

rickn8or,

Do we get bonus points for having watched it on al-Jazeera?

The Freeholder said...

Pick a winner, Joe baby!

Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)

Grayson said...

"claim to be Canadian"?

Come on, Roberta. That's not such a bad thing.
Aside from the fact that we have the Liberal Party of Canada, it is a fairly good place to live.
Just remember: if anyone asks you what kind of bacon to buy, you tell them, "back bacon, eh?"
Moreover, any syrup that is less than 100% pure maple syrup has no business being on your pancakes. :)

P.S. We in Canada DO have politicians every bit as colourful as Mr. Biden - the liberal press just does a better job of selectively overlooking their blunders.
Cheers!

Roberta X said...

Grayson, there's nothing wrong with being Canadian by birth or by choice; it's just that I'm not, so it would be dissembling for my to claim to be, hey?

I have noticed that Canadian politics is in no wise lacking in the full, rich panoply of the species politicianius, though y'all seem to have arranged the operating mechanism differently and with fracture lines somewhat dissimilar to the ones I grew up with. ;)

Grayson said...

Point taken, Roberta. Thank you.
Although, I have to grudgingly admit that your Vice President is a lot more entertaining than our liberals.
If we ever meet up somewhere, the beer is on my tab.