Dear Joe Biden,
On the occasion of a State of the Union address by your boss -- yes, that skinny fellow in a suit in front of you, the one making a speech -- this country asks pretty much just one thing of you. Just one little thing:
For the love of Ghu, man, do not pick your nose, live, on international television! Please!
...Oh, too late.Okay, then please, please, please do not semi-secretly wipe your fingers on your copy of the President's spee-- Aw, gee. Ewwww.
Y'make me wanna claim to be Canadian when people ask where I'm from.
Readers: Gosh, I miss the days when they'd tape his wrists to his thighs for public appearances. I would have been happy to present a bipartisan example, but Speaker Boehner, whatever other failings he may have, managed to keep his digits away from his olfactory orifice for this speech.
A VINTAGE-SUITABLE CALENDAR
4 weeks ago