Dear Joe Biden,
On the occasion of a State of the Union address by your boss -- yes, that skinny fellow in a suit in front of you, the one making a speech -- this country asks pretty much just one thing of you. Just one little thing:
For the love of Ghu, man, do not pick your nose, live, on international television! Please!
...Oh, too late.Okay, then please, please, please do not semi-secretly wipe your fingers on your copy of the President's spee-- Aw, gee. Ewwww.
Y'make me wanna claim to be Canadian when people ask where I'm from.
Readers: Gosh, I miss the days when they'd tape his wrists to his thighs for public appearances. I would have been happy to present a bipartisan example, but Speaker Boehner, whatever other failings he may have, managed to keep his digits away from his olfactory orifice for this speech.
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
11 months ago