She looks better waking up than you do after all day at the spa.
It is said that her touch can cure...bacon.
Clerks fight one another to wait on her.
In the altiplano, they claim she tames llamas with a stern look; in Tibet, they say the same thing regarding Lamas.
She has been known to bicycle without wearing a helmet -- or bothering to perspire.
She has never needed to iron anything.
She is...that annoying person they claimed you could grow up to be just like...if only you would apply yourself.
(I still dunno how one achieves a flawless complexion via sheer willpower but I remain somehow convinced I otta be able to).
T. R. MCELROY'S STREAMLINED TELEGRAPH KEYS
6 months ago