Tuesday, July 03, 2012

"And Now The News"

I'm scanning the headlines, yawn...Anderson Cooper comes out, to the surprise of almost nobody...some second-row model/actress giving Jessica Alba the stink-eye for having been handed better genes...undersea worms consume the bones of their victims by spraying acid, ho-hum...Higgs Boson 99.999 likely found...and something goes click. Ah-ha! Of course; it's the only logical reason:

I turn to Tam and say, "That's why Anderson Cooper confirmed it! --He's been dating the Higgs boson!"

Tam (reading items of actual worth, suddenly interrupted): "Higgins's bosom? Arthur Anderson?"

RX: "No, Higgs boson. Anderson Cooper? War of Jenkin's Ear?"

Tam: "Wart on Jenkin's ear?"

Less news. More fiction. It's a lot more internally consistent. And believable -- didja hear about the scary-skinny E! hostess who will cover the Olympics despite the near-certainly that it means she'll miss the birth of her and her husband's first child? Yep: hired a host-mother. Welcome to the future, still without flying cars or hotels on the Moon.

Update: Wednesday morning, the strange man in my TV was pronouncing it "Higgs bosun." As in the Navy rank. Now it's even clearer: see, the Higgs bosun couldn't go public until DADT was changed to "whatever, dude." I hope they're very happy together. Also, I wonder what kind of ship is the Higgs.

P.S. Since she's unlikely to tell you, Tam's knee sports a major bruise after her fall the other day -- but she's walking okay. Still, ow!

9 comments:

JD Rush said...

I thought that Rancic had breast cancer in addition to fertility problems. And I'm a little sad that I knew that off the top of my head.....

Roberta X said...

She does (or did). Kind of explains the skinnies, except she seems to have always been that thin. (Kind of explains a determination to seize as much of the day as possible, too.)

I was just struck by the blase way the tabloid press was treating it. C'mon, it's now possible for a child's biological mother to miss the birth? Been that way for awhile, I know, but most of those Mom's are not missing the event to cover the Olympics.

Robin said...

I gotta come here for news of Tam's knee?

GBBL said...

The future used to be the clean happy perfect Star Trek future. Now it might be the dark dangerous BladeRunner future.

Ken said...

Long as it ain't Airman Third Class Axel Higgs (go on, I'll wait).

og said...

Anyone that didn't suspect AC was using a tad too much loafer lightener needs to have their gaydar recalibrated.

DirtCrashr said...

I could dig condo's on the Moon but I hate staying in hotels.
Hopes to her leg/knee gettin' better - is it her shifter foot or clutch leg? I'm all abut disabilitating fubars lately, and multiples.

Ritchie said...

What historical rifle for crutch? Please don't use the bayonet indoors.

Anonymous said...

I set on the edge of the couch watching Star Trek: The Next Generation growing up, and it's funny to note the difference between the pronunciation of data and Data.

The "Higg" is a patrol vessel on the SLOCs of the Abell 222 - 223 run.

"Higg's Bosun" is the title of the series, which could focus on the crew.