Wednesday, July 04, 2012

O Glorious Holiday

"Happy Co-dependance Day," says the fed.gov, with a warm and smarmy reminder that they're there for us -- and, especially, there for the contents of our wallets. C'mon, you, hand it over! Don't you care about poor people? An' struggling Congressthings?

I'd send 'em a rocket* but the city's fretful I'll catch the place on fire -- also, Officer Friendly will come 'round an' offer me a ticket and a hickory shampoo if I try. It's for my own good, innit? (Yes, it turns out they can ban fireworks, just as long as they declare a disaster first. Drought: disaster. Hurrah! Our Leaders have now arranged matters such that only the least-responsible and most furtive of persons will ignite pyrotechnic amusements. What could possibly go wrong?)
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* PS, we're all still terrists again. I knew it, I just knew it -- it's that beady "don't tread on me, bro" look in yer eyes. So not down with the collective whim. Feds: figure of speech, damn you, figure of speech. Also, it still moves.

2 comments:

Bubblehead Les. said...

So when does the Drunken IMPD person who set himself on Fire lighting Illegal Bottle rockets get printed: Today's Edition or Tomorrow's?

Ritchie near Denver said...

Local commentary in Mordor-on-the-Platte area revolves around inability to resolve the conundrum of being allowed to buy ground-bound, non-bursting fireworks, but not being allowed to spark them up. I suppose they're still technically fireworks.