"Happy Co-dependance Day," says the fed.gov, with a warm and smarmy reminder that they're there for us -- and, especially, there for the contents of our wallets. C'mon, you, hand it over! Don't you care about poor people? An' struggling Congressthings?
I'd send 'em a rocket* but the city's fretful I'll catch the place on fire -- also, Officer Friendly will come 'round an' offer me a ticket and a hickory shampoo if I try. It's for my own good, innit? (Yes, it turns out they can ban fireworks, just as long as they declare a disaster first. Drought: disaster. Hurrah! Our Leaders have now arranged matters such that only the least-responsible and most furtive of persons will ignite pyrotechnic amusements. What could possibly go wrong?)
* PS, we're all still terrists again. I knew it, I just knew it -- it's that beady "don't tread on me, bro" look in yer eyes. So not down with the collective whim. Feds: figure of speech, damn you, figure of speech. Also, it still moves.
A VINTAGE-SUITABLE CALENDAR
3 weeks ago