Wednesday, July 04, 2012

O Glorious Holiday

"Happy Co-dependance Day," says the, with a warm and smarmy reminder that they're there for us -- and, especially, there for the contents of our wallets. C'mon, you, hand it over! Don't you care about poor people? An' struggling Congressthings?

I'd send 'em a rocket* but the city's fretful I'll catch the place on fire -- also, Officer Friendly will come 'round an' offer me a ticket and a hickory shampoo if I try. It's for my own good, innit? (Yes, it turns out they can ban fireworks, just as long as they declare a disaster first. Drought: disaster. Hurrah! Our Leaders have now arranged matters such that only the least-responsible and most furtive of persons will ignite pyrotechnic amusements. What could possibly go wrong?)
* PS, we're all still terrists again. I knew it, I just knew it -- it's that beady "don't tread on me, bro" look in yer eyes. So not down with the collective whim. Feds: figure of speech, damn you, figure of speech. Also, it still moves.


Bubblehead Les. said...

So when does the Drunken IMPD person who set himself on Fire lighting Illegal Bottle rockets get printed: Today's Edition or Tomorrow's?

Ritchie near Denver said...

Local commentary in Mordor-on-the-Platte area revolves around inability to resolve the conundrum of being allowed to buy ground-bound, non-bursting fireworks, but not being allowed to spark them up. I suppose they're still technically fireworks.