Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Dear Local TV News

     You're doing it wrong, Local TV News.  If it happened three days ago and ended happily, it's not still news today.

     Perhaps I should explain: news is, by definition, new.  There's all kinds of interesting things about the Spanish Civil War, a sort of dress-rehearsal for WW II foisted off on a nation in the process of working out its own fate the hard way -- but I don't expect you to be telling me about that, either.

     Monday, an expectant couple (well, he was expecting; she was plenty certain) were hurrying down the freeway to the hospital, having left home perhaps a bit later than they should have.  Overtaken by fire trucks, they fell in behind...and made good time to the jacknifed semi that had traffic at a standstill.

     Hubby asked a fireman for help, the firemen summoned an ambulance and, wonder of wonders, the young mother made it to the hospital in plenty of time; her baby was born nearly four and a half hours later.  Mom and child are doing fine.

     Heartwarming and cute the day it happened, with live images of the ambulance at the scene and speeding away.  Three days later?  Yawner, unless you happen to be a family member.

     News: it's new stuff.  Like the ads say, "Live, local and late-breaking."  Hey, aren't those your ads, Local TV News?

     Y'know, the newspaper was never much either, but at least I can use it to line the cat's litter box.

5 comments:

John Peddie (Toronto) said...

I believe the technical terms are

"filler"

"cheap re-run filer"

"let's reduce reporting staff again";

and

"they'll never notice anyway".


My own technical terms are

"Mute button" and

"Channel Up button".


NAVIGATOR said...

HEART WARMING STORY !

IN MY MISSPENT YOUTH I WAS A VOLUNTEER EMT- RESCUEMAN

ON ONE OCCASION WHILE OFF-DUTY I ASSISTED AT A BIRTH AT NIGHT IN A RAGING AUGUST THUNDERSTORM ON THE BELT PARKWAY

THE DELIVERY TOOK PLACE IN THE BACK SEAT OF A DISABLED VEHICLE THE DELIVERY WAS OTHERWISE NORMAL EXCEPT FOR THE MOTHER CUSSING OUT THE FATHER IN TWO LANGUAGES THE FATHER WAS IN SHOCK THE HIGHWAY COP FAINTING WHEN HE SAW WHAT WAS GOING ON THE SITUATION WAS UNDER
CONTROL A HOOK AND LADDER AND THREE PUMPERS RESPONDED WITH FULL
CREWS WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THE PANDEMONIUM SANS "NIT WITLESS NEWS"

THE NEWBORN AND MOTHER WERE SAFELY BROUGHT TO CONEY ISLAND HOSPITAL
BY A PASSING AMBULANCE DOING FINE

FROM THERE I WENT HOME

ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE ABOVE RELATED INCIDENT AND A MARX BROTHERS MOVIE SCRIPT WAS PURELY COINCIDENTAL

THE DISABLED VEHICLE WAS DULY TICKETED AND TOWED AWAY

SEE WHAT YOU ARE MISSING IN THE BIG CITY ?

Jim Dunmyer said...

I often read 2 newspapers, and get a kick out of watching the 11:00 News when they breathlessly report something I read earlier. That means it's at least 24 hours old, hardly "breaking news".

Roberta X said...

John Peddie: "Off" button. My special fave on the TV.

Windy Wilson said...

"What's the new news from the new court?"

Its gotta be new. That's the benefit and the bane of the news programs.
I guess this was a situation where the instantaneous amnesia of the news cycle didn't work as it usually does.