Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Things That Should Not Be In Your Bug-Out Bag

The topic is on my mind; we all got the "Bring everything you'll need for two days away from home" memo this afternoon and, unusually, my Bug-Out Bag isn't packed.

(If you are seeing this, I either lost power overnight [Not yet! RJB, 7:02 am] or decided to go in early. Possibly even both).

So, what ought you not have in your bug-out bag?

Hand grenades
A jar of live eels
A live squid in a wicker basket
Hydrofluoric acid
Low-melting-point chocolate
A brown paper bag full of ice cubes
A grass skirt*
A shotgun in 10-ga or greater with barrel(s) 6" or shorter. There's just too much explaining when you have to get the broken wrist set.
Bar solder (2 lbs. or more)
Glass bottles of anything
A can of mercury
Raw meat
Socks with holes in them
Rodents of any sort (make 'em walk!)
Campaign literature
A lit candle

YMMV, but remember, pack safe! And pack light. It can be a long walk to the next bus stop.
Feel free to make your own suggestions for the list.
* Unless bugging out in Hawaii, especially near tourists.


Tango Juliet said...

Barbie or any of her friends?

A bag of #12 shot?

A gallon of prop wash?

50' of chow line?

ViolentIndifference said...

Leave your medicine ball collection at home. Or have someone else pack them.

Ed Skinner said...

You forgot pot cleaner. Keads ("Another Day" blog) needs some.

Montie said...

What's wrong with hand grenades? Oh, wait... I guess it's not THAT kind of bug-out bag.

Mr.B said...

anything more than mildly radioactive.

WV: Mysto. Like the magician?

ViolentIndifference said...


a) Jayne Cobb will always have hand grenades.

b) Did you shave off that soup catcher?

(Now I need me some Firefly.)

Midwest Chick said...

Gosh darn it. Now I'm going to have to start over from scratch.... ;-)

Me said...

But what if I'm going to a Red Wings game? I'm going to need that squid...they're almost mandatory at Joe Louis Stadium.

This is why I have a dog, and why he has a back-pack that he cannot shuck off. Someone has to bring the anvil, after all.

og said...

You can just tell my squid he doesn't get to come along. Sheesh.

My personal bugout bag happens to be a two-ton Ford Explorer. And while it doesn't need one, it invariably has a tektronix scope and a big box of sta-kons.

falnfenix said...

don't forget to leave the mongoose OUT of your BoB...because once you've successfully gotten it in there, good luck keeping it there.

Anonymous said...

Toothbrush, floss, handi wipes, hand towel, toilet paper in zip loc bag, money, extra pair of glasses if you wear them, comb, and . . . a Black Mamba (this will remove the mongoose).

falnfenix said...

Anonymous, don't you mean the mongoose would handle the mamba? they're resistant to snake venom for a reason. ;)

Old Grouch said...

"They were doin' the mamba,
   while I just stood around..."

Erm, sorry...

Nathan said...

Mercury. Check.

Do you need some?

Bubblehead Les. said...

"Glass Bottles of Anything"? But what if you NEED a Molotov Cocktail?

One thing that will not go into my Bug Out Bag is the Communist Manifesto, unless there is absolutely no other source of Butt Wipe on the Shelf.

Seriously, 2 days for a B.O.B.? Get a surplus Large A.L.I.C.E. w/Frame for each Adult and load up for a week. It'll take FEMA 3 days to figure out where to have the Dog and Pony Show located so all the Bureaucrats can fit on the Stage and tell us how wonderful They are and how good a job They're failing at.

Nathan said...

Just remember, if memory has faded since Katrina: It's not FEMA's job to be there fustest with the mostest. Federal Emergency MANAGEMENT Agency.

So yeah, it may take them three days to find the stage, but in the meantime, you and your local emergency response folks are supposed to be handling the problem.

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous, don't you mean the mongoose would handle the mamba?"

No, the snake handles the mongoose as per the Indian fable.

Brigid said...

What! You're not taking your
Flowbee Haircutting System?

Roberta X said...

snake-handling is right out -- unless you're bugging out to west Virginia?

Joshkie said...

Anon -
Are you refuring to "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi" a short story in "The Jungle Book" by Rudyard Kipling?

As Rikki defends the house successfuly with out the loss of his life.




Joshkie said...

Good no ones said anything about stuffed Teddy Bears ...Ya... Mr. BoBO gets to come....


Roberta X said...

(Also, anent Molotov cocktails: a Bug-Out Bag is for bugging out, not Upping the Revolution. That'd be more of a Bug-In Bag.)

Stuffed Animals: lookit, once you have the basics, if you wanna carry more, that's on you. How many rounds of 9mm does Mr. Fuzzy weigh? 10?

A pack of 200W light bulbs, though, that's right out.

Eric Wilner said...

Mercury... right, the jar of mercury stays in the toolbox where it belongs. Not in the bug-out bag, nor in close proximity to bottles of nitric acid nor alcohol. Nope.
The bug-out bag also does not contain an encyclopedia, the engine block from a '73 Matador, nor a Bridgeport vertical mill.
On the other hand, I might consider including a yo-yo and a bag of jelly babies.

Anonymous said...

--- Popcorn air popper (I will probably be able to find styrofoam peanuts along the way if I crave air-popped popcorn; they taste the same)

--- Wife's hair-rollers

--- Espresso maker (French press WILL be in it, though; I can't face TEOTWAWKI without coffee)

--- Wife's "Grey's Anatomy" DVD collection (I can happily face TEOTWAWKI if it means NEVER having to watch that wretched show ever again)

--- Ballroom dancing shoes (boots might not be as elegant, but I can rumba in them if I have to)

--- Bottle of vodka (pretty sure that there will be no Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice at TEOTWAWKI, so what's the point?)

--- College diploma (everybody thinks I got it off e-Bay, anyway)

--- Wife's college diploma (oh, if you think she gets to keep hers so she can pretend that she's smarter than I am, you've got another think coming!)

--- Barack Obama commemerative plate (it's TEOTWAWKI; there are trees and abandoned car tires everywhere, so why carry the extra weight?)

Joanna said...

I am bringing my Joy of Cooking (1964 edition), my nested Tupperware bowls (with lids!), my good measuring utensils and my favorite wooden spoon. If I'm in my own car, I'm also bringing my cast iron skillets. No sense living like savages if we don't have to.

I suppose I'd bring my cat, if I could manage it. I suppose.

Joshkie said...

My mom told me Mr. BoBo will protect me from the monster in my closet, the boogyman, zombies and any other thing that goes bump in the nite. As, I have not ever once been attacked by a baddie while Mr. BoBo been with me; he gets to come.

If my survival depends on having 10 extra rounds of 9mm I've already dun f'd up, cause I don't carry anything that shoots 9mm.


DaveFla said...

Think trade goods, Josh...
and my bug out bag doesn't contain a snow shovel. Armageddon hits, I ain't stoppin' until I finally live well south of hereabouts!

AuricTech said...

A depleted-uranium beholder statue (some profanity in linked animation).